Troublesome Depression

[Cazamanga offline]

I need some advice, I have a friend who is very depressed, she is so depressed that she feels she needs to act like someone she's not to fit in, but i tried to tell her she can be whoever she wants to be, & should'nt worry about what other people think, I don't know what else i can say, but I want to help her, cause she is my friend and I care about her.

so does anyone have some advice?

[Rail Runner offline]

honestly...just be there for her, and let her know that if she needs anything that you are there for her...it makes all the difference in the world for someone who is depressed to know that they have someone on their side...I should know, I have been there myself.

[The BB of C offline]

It only takes one good friend. If you can be that friend, then she'll be fine.

[Rail Runner offline]

here is another bit of advice...what may not seem like a big deal to you, may be an extremely big one to her, so try to look at the situation through her eyes, and tell her what you think would be the best bit of advice.

[Just_Jaine offline]

Why is she depressed? If it’s something serious than you should talk to adult. None the less stand by her and never let her feel that she is alone. Maybe it would helper get over whatever is making her depressed if you talk to her. Also wanting to fit in is natural, but changing your self to hide what you’re feeling will never work in the long run.

[Rail Runner offline]

well...I would only tell an adult if things get extremely serious, like if she starts thinking about suicide...otherwise, im sure things can be worked out between the two of you, and honestly..sometimes depressed people feel betrayed if you tell an adult or anyone else for that matter, because they feel that what they told you was only for you to hear...ive been there, this is how I know this.

[baruk offline]

i think all you can do is trying to talk to her. keeping emotions bottled up causes a lot of issues. its important to tell them how important they are to you and that you love them for who they are...not someone else. if it gets too bad...tell someone, like an adult. they get your friend help.

[mooshie offline]

well although talking can be extremely helpful, generally one feels uncomfortable talking to someone they know, an easier way to do things is to suggest a forum, or suggest that she keep a journal, I use one and it helps a lot, not only with emotions but by going over how you act you start to think of how silly it is and gradually stop doing it, this in combination with having a friend they know they can trust can severly improve self confidence and behavioral issues (such as changing who you are to fit in) and while it may seem cruel telling her how silly/selfish she is being by doing this can also help

[Cazamanga offline]

thanks for your advice everyone, i will try some of your suggestions, and let you know if it worked, so just ask.

[Chosen_one offline]

Do you know why she's depressed? If not, you should try to find out. I agree that you should talk to her about it because when I was depressed, the thing I wanted the most was to let other people know about my troubles. Try to come up of a way to defeat the factor making your friend depressed.

[Xieon offline]

Do you know why she's depressed? If not, you should try to find out. I agree that you should talk to her about it because when I was depressed, the thing I wanted the most was to let other people know about my troubles. Try to come up of a way to defeat the factor making your friend depressed.

One thing to remember is although you may want to try the reason for her depression, don't pry to much, as that will only make things worse. If she is not willing to talk about it, never try to force her to, she will open up on her own and it will be much better in the end.