Poetry Journal...Sorta...

[YDV offline]

Ah, I see. Oh well. I'd still like to hear it.

[Just_Jaine offline]

Yah Stonecreek it would be nice to hear that poem to music, if you get a chance.

When you say those words
My hart fills with sorrow
We both want the same thing
To be free from our past

My mind shuts down
As my eyes start to tear
I wonder if we can talk
And if we may heal

I here you voice crack
And for a moment I think you may cry
But instead, you take a big breath and sigh
I want to be able to tell you
I know how you feel

I’m proud that you did that
You have courage beyond measure
My last thought is however
I wish I did too

[Stonecreek]

Turns out I can't use the equipment unless it is for class, so you'll have to make do with just the words. I can't sing well, either, so you're not missing much.

[Lyokofreak offline]

+undelayed rhymes= a really good

[Stonecreek]

Always love your stuff, Jaine. A+

[Just_Jaine offline]

Thank you all. This poem is based off my feeling that I posted about in rant.

Why,
Why do I feel this way?
I want to sit down and cry
But instead,
I pretend it’s just another day

I’m lying
Lying to everyone
But mainly to myself
Still I just stick my hands in my pocket
And shrug it off

The darkness is setting in
As reality downs on me
This is no fairy tail story
But the truth
That is untold

I want someone to listen to me
To hug me when I need it
To bring a light
Into the cave of darkness

My story is yet to be uncovered
Dug up piece by piece
But not by anyone
Just those who understand

[Stonecreek]

Ah, solace through writing. You have me on another depressive writing kick, and I feel for you (I really do), but it's like I'm back in high school all of a sudden. I can write freely again, without teachers lording over me and telling me how I've been writing is wrong. So, anyway, I wrote a sad piece after reading your poem.

Like cotton candy it vanishes

to the 7-year-old
whose heart you don't want to see
broken. Go ahead and explain
death to him. Explain friendship
ended prematurely.
A house lying empty
at the end of the street
A tire swing sways
forlorn, the child is
no longer here.

[Shi_Min_Xi offline]

Wow guys...My little poetry journal/poem thread has gotten quite... popular with over 1000 views... ^__^ Amazing how much attention 3 poets can get...

For all the poems that I haven't commented...I actually read them and I'll say awesome job you two (if I'm not mistaken).

I've been sick lately and have tons of projects slammed on me (curse you school!), but I put together this little poem Enjoy ^__^

These scars on my cheek,
Are all I have to remember you by.
These scars on my cheek,
Hurt me everytime I touch them.
These scars on my cheek,
Remind me...
Remind me of the terrible mistake I've made
The mistake, that costed us our friendship...
Those three words,
Each simple by itself,
But when strung together...
Formed a powerful statement,
A statement, that changes lives.
Everybody has to hear it at one point in time,
But nobody is ever able to accept it immediatly.
Some never do, others after awhile
But can anyone ever justify it,
To say no to someone and shatter their heart,
After pouring it out to them?
I think not.
Somewhere, somehow, humans must feel guilt
To destory someone's dream and crush their spirit.
Don't you feel any of that?
Probably not, juding by your actions and last words.
Why must you be different?
And not follow human nature.
It's not fair.
Why must the one I've fallen for,
Be unique in everyway?
But maybe, that's just my nature.
To look for the ones that are different,
A thing to escape with from the ordinary.
A radiant sky,
As day turns to night and the wind starts howling.
I pull my jacket closer
Maybe now I should leave and accept this fact, this fate.
The day may finally be over,
But...
There's always tomorrow to go through.

[Stonecreek]

Every time I see "Scar on cheek", I think Rurouni Kenshin, despite never having seen any episode of it all the way through. So the poem made me think of that anime. Goof job even if it isn't that, dd.

[Shi_Min_Xi offline]

Every time I see "Scar on cheek", I think Rurouni Kenshin, despite never having seen any episode of it all the way through. So the poem made me think of that anime. Goof job even if it isn't that, dd.

LOL...I didn't even think of that! I was thinking more like just two scars running down the person's cheek. Thanks Stonecreek

[YDV offline]

Awesome once again, man, and welcome back. (Well, you know what I mean..)

Yeah.. echoes all sorts of chords in the heart, neh? Yes that did make sense.. >.>;;

[Stonecreek]

A historical piece, sorta. Spot it if you can.

Untitled (for the title is unknown)

I'm like anybody else.
Picture just about anyone
And you'll have me.

I was just doing my job,
A part of the whole;
No need for an identity.

All of my service has been
Cliched by Hollywood;
All they see is the story.

Sweat in the trenches
And sleep in the dirt
I ask you, "Where is the glory?"

So what if I'm famous?
That alone doesn't mean
I've escaped anonymity.

All that they know
Is a quote on a tomb
A symbol for our country.

Enshrined in stone,
Beloved by all,
Yet Unknown for eternity.

[Just_Jaine offline]

Stonecreak and Dragondasher your poems were awesome. I could really liked the part about gilt in yours Dragondasher.

There’s a long line across his chest
The line cuts deep into memories I have not forgotten
My mind aches and my stomach tightens
My world swirls as I see him lying on the plain white sheets
As he moves pain fill his face
Poring into my hart
Leaving me with a mask to cover my face

[Shi_Min_Xi offline]

Amazing both Jaine and Stonecreek (I can't figure out what you're referring to Stonecreek *continues thinking....*) I'm working on a new poem now. I'll edit my post when it's done.

Ohh...Gotta give thanks to YD for coming here and reading out poetry. You 3 guys are the best ^_^.

[Stonecreek]

Really good for such a short poem, Jaine. You used both showing and telling to good effect.

And RotD, it's about the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

[Shi_Min_Xi offline]

Ohhhh....

Well...In order to NOT make this a spammy post...I guess I'll post my poem here....
This poem was actually inspired by StarWay's "World Without Danger" banner (bet you can guess where this is going...)

All we want...
Is a world without danger.
Is that too much to ask for?
We work for it,
Risk our lives everyday to make it possible.
Can't this one wish of ours come true?
We've proven ourselves
To be pure and good-natured
But still, nothing happens
Why can't God help us here?
Does the Authority enjoy watching us like this?
Fighting and risking our lives for a lost cause?
If we're really aiming for a lost cause,
Shouldn't we give up?
And accept the fact, that
Our goal is unachievable?
No, we shall keep on,
We have hope, courage
We beleive that one day,
A world without danger,
Will exist
And we will be at ease,
Knowing we helped for this to happen.
Knowing that all we have done, was not in vain
That our dream became real,
That...
A world without danger...can exist

[Stonecreek]

I'd actually break the poem up into some stanzas to help the pacing, RotD. otheriwse, good subject matter and no technical flaws. I have another older one. I will get a new one up here some day, when the three fics I have yet to finish get done.

Speak No Evil

When will the silence come again,
the peace of life be restored,
the complacency of existence
be there forevermore?

When will the screams of the suffering cease,
and the firestorms of wailing die down?
When will complaints be naught but whispers,
and the inner sanctum be found?

When will an equilibrium
be established and maintained,
rules laid down, revered and followed
and unity resurrected again?

When will the crying and moaning end?
Can meaningful dialect resume,
or are we too caught up in ourselves
to care about impending doom?

Can you not hear it veiled in our words,
the arguments concealing pleas?
When understanding at last is found
the world will at last rest at ease.

[Shi_Min_Xi offline]

Me likey Stonecreek (I've got to stop saying that...) I'm writing a poem for SS...(WHAT?!?!?!) about the 1920s....It's...interesting to say the least...I'll post it here when I'm done...

Errr....Where would I split the poem for stanzas Stonecreek...?

[Just_Jaine offline]

RotD, I liked the plot of your poem, however it did not really remind me of CL, more about world peace. I'll PM you where I would break up your poem. Stonecreak when I first read the tile “Speak No Evilâ€

[Stonecreek]

Jaine, I'd like to know a bit more what the poem's about. TI sounds great, as always, but it's slightly vague. And RotD, here's an edit of your with line breaks added: (nothing else changed)

All we want...
Is a world without danger.
Is that too much to ask for?

We work for it,
Risk our lives everyday to make it possible.
Can't this one wish of ours come true?

We've proven ourselves
To be pure and good-natured
But still, nothing happens

Why can't God help us here?
Does the Authority enjoy watching us like this?
Fighting and risking our lives for a lost cause?

If we're really aiming for a lost cause,
Shouldn't we give up?
And accept the fact, that
Our goal is unachievable?

No, we shall keep on,

We have hope, courage
We beleive that one day,
A world without danger,
Will exist
And we will be at ease,

Knowing we helped for this to happen.
Knowing that all we have done, was not in vain
That our dream became real,
That...
A world without danger...can exist

Not formalistic in the least, but it adds some good stresses where the stanzas end. Also, it seems to organize the ideas or trains of thought pretty well. I know you don't write like this, but I found myself inserting these pauses when reading it to myself, and they sounded OK aloud.

[Shi_Min_Xi offline]

Ahhh...Okay Thanks much Stonecreek

[Stonecreek]

I'm happier with this poem than any poem I've written in the last year or two. That should say something. Here it is:

Storming the Pillow Fort

The password has long since been lost
amid the vroom cars and building blocks
that made up what once was
a very strong battlement.

The teddy bear army had fled in fear
the onslaught of the tax collectors.
Expectations lay siege to imagination
And watch as it wastes away.

Crotchety professors blowing hot air
repel the PB & J offensive.
The sticky-fingered general falls
face-first into a pile of paperwork.

Watch the treehouse as it burns,
flames licking away the carved initials
of those who shall never be here again.

Napping inside, they do not realize
the destruction of all they hold dear.
Crayons and glue dot their dreams
creating a whole new world of glee.

But in the waking land, chaos rules.

The bicycles have acquiesced to cars,
loud engines and exhaust clouding thoughts
once so crystal-clear, yet all too fleeting.

Money has lured the once faithful fighters
to back unforgivable causes in the name of nothing.
The T-ball team has laid down their gloves
and headed off to the bar for a round or two
to forget the battles given up without realization.

The war was lost before it was declared.

[LadyChaos offline]

You know, Stonecreek, that kinda reminds me of a quote from Harry Potter.

Dumbledore says (to Harry I believe), "Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it is to be young."

Hmm, just a thought I had when I read your poem.

[Stonecreek]

YOU, of all people, responding with a HP quote?! Shock and surprise!!

In all seriousness, glad you read it and it made you think.

[LadyChaos offline]

YOU, of all people, responding with a HP quote?! Shock and surprise!!

In all seriousness, glad you read it and it made you think.

Yes, quite shocking isn't it?