All I need is a good listener and a little advice.

[mcrlvr394 offline]

One problem I have is with friends. Sometimes, they're not that great. Like this friend that I have said something about a girl. And I told her not to tell anyone, but that I didn't really like the girl. I'm definitely not afraid of the girl, but she's friends with one of my friends and I didn't want to cause him a bunch of drama. So my "friend" went and told the girl I didn't like her and this HUGE thing came out of it. So how do you know if a friend is really a friend?

[JesusFreak offline]

That's a good question.

A friend is someone who gets you a birthday gift when you forget his/hers

A friend should be like a diary, you can tell anything to him/her and expect it to be (relatively) confidential

A friend is somebody who doesn't diss your favorite thing, but comments on your differentiating opinions gently.

Did that help?

[Rail Runner offline]

Your true friends will be there for you when you feel down and need a shoulder to cry on. They will help you when you ask *unless something serious comes up*. Most of all, a true friend will always honor your request to keep something to themselves, all of mine have honored that.

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Thanks a lot guys. You really helped. True friends are supposed to respect your wishes right? What if they don't? Do you talk to them about it or do you just dump them and say you never want to talk to them again?

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

Well, that's true. But finding tue friends is really hard and pretty rare for your lifetime. But when you have one, they'll be a friend for life. And it's rarer still that you'll find one right off the bat. True friends are made too. A healthy friendship is strong, but like rubber, it can go through anything! So don't just dump a friend and say you never want to talk to them, because later on you could have been really good friends, yet you have bad blood with them. So if you really want to build a friendship, then just trust the person, don't try to or want to change them, and just hang out with who they are. If you can do that, you can be friends with anyone.

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Thanks. That makes sense. BUt, what if that "friend" happened to be a backstabber? Would you still keep them? And what if all they were doing was using you? What do you do then? Grr! Friends are so confusing!!

[Rail Runner offline]

If that is ALL they are doing, then no, I wouldnt stay friends with them. You dont need people who do that 24/7 to you, as it will only make you feel worse. Trust me on this one, I once had a friend that did this to me, and I am no longer friends with him. I feel much better since I stopped seeing this ex friend, because I am now keeping more money on me than giving it to him. He was always asking for money, and I dont mind helping, but it got to be rediculous. He told me he would pay me back, but he never did. I hope this sorta helps you.

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

That is some good advice HR just gave you. It is hard to decide whether to keep those friends or not, I had a friend who used to be like that and now he outgrew that phase, now we are great friends. So it is up to you if you think that they are going to continue doing this then you should stop being friends with them otherwise think really hard before you make that decision.

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Thanks guys. Now I'm kid of depressed because one of the guys that goes to school with me tried to kill himself and another one did. How am I supposed to deal with that?

[Kamekai offline]

<s>kill yourself too</s> Just remember that even if your life is bad now, it'll be hell when you're dead.[/pun]

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Yea. They're not the first ones of my friends to do that. That's why it's so hard for me. Yesterday at school, I was so sad I hugged people. Usually if I get hugged while I'm sad, somebody gets knocked out! But I was past sad and all the way to, "Holy poop! He's gone."

[Rail Runner offline]

Grieving is just a natural part of losing someone, be it friend or family. Its not something that you have to try and hide. Although, dont take it out on others that are only trying to make you feel better. I recently lost a friend to cancer, and then another to an accident, and one thing is for sure, you will be ok. The sadness will pass, and life will continue as normal.

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Thanks guys. Now I'm kid of depressed because one of the guys that goes to school with me tried to kill himself and another one did. How am I supposed to deal with that?

Do not be afraid to let it all out...cry, scream do something just do not hold it in because that will only scar you... Holding it in is the worst possible thing you can do, it will only cause more damage. We are here for you we all are...If you need someone to talk to I am here and always willing to lend an ear... Time will heal all things...

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Thanks BillyGirl! Trust me, I was crying! My best friend was dating the guy that killed himself, and my other best friend was dating the guy who tried. The good news is, the guy who tried to kill himself is in a mental hospital, but he might be coming home soon! But all day Tuesday, people tried everything to cheer me up, but it wouldn't work. And another one of my friends was real tight with the guy who killed himself and she finally let it sink in during sixth period that he really was gone. It was one of the saddest days in Middle School history!

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

I really hope that you will pm me if there is anything I can do for you then let me know...My abnormal psychology class they say there is something called modeling and it is when friends are really tight they try to immitate the friend who committed suicide in hopes it will end the pain... The thing is those shrinks try to analyze things too much and they don't realize how much it hurts the ones left behind... We are here for you just let us know how we can help...

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Thanks! I really do miss him!! My best friend wasn't at school Tuesday, so I had no one to cry on! He was sick with the flu. When I'm sad I just want to hug him and cry on his shoulders. And Tuesday during pe, me and some of my friends stood outside and screamed for like two minutes straight. It made me feel a lot better!

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

I have done that before and it feels sooooooooooo good to get it out... I also beat the crud out of my bed and that helps too... Try beating something up like hitting a pillow or even better a punching bag... Or better yet just punch a friend...haha just joking...

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Yea. I've screamed, punched my pillow, punched my bed, punched my punching bag, and punched my friend! I feel so much better! It's so much easier with support too. That would be you, BillyGirl!

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Glad I could help...

[RachelKat214 offline]

Hallo Yumi. The people who posted are all right. You should listen to them. If ya want to talk, you know what to do. And if you don't your craizer then I thought.

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Ok Lita-Poo. I don't know whether that was a compilment or an insult. But thanks anyways you guys!!

[RachelKat214 offline]

-lolz- Compliment.

[mcrlvr394 offline]

Okay, here's another thing. What do you do when you like a guy (Who may or may not be your best friend) but he doesn't like you? We dated. We split. We try to be friends. Some of his friends say that he still likes me, but he says he doesn't. So what do I do about him? Do I just forget about him and move on or what? Please help! Luv you guys! (By the way, if you happen to read this, Lita-Poo, say nothing about who this may be since I know you know. And if you don't, you are dumber than you look!)

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I am not very good with matters of the heart, you are gonna make me think on this one Yumi.....What I would say is try to be good friends with him... If you want to pm me and give me further details thats fine but until i know more I don't want to draw a conclusion and have come to the wrong one... Just give him some time....

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

OH OUCH .I know how you feel .My mate got me in big trouble to me a friend could mean alot of things

1.who's there to cover your *ss.(Combat and ruperts)
2.There for a laugh even if you'll both stinked (All the time when your a student)
3.There for you when you need ( livin somwhere you what to just die with loneness)I'm a outdoor survival guy)
4.Who will stand by you and fight to the bitter end (combat)

A friend is someone you can trust and be like a brother/ sister in arm