Even though I don't fully support slash pairings...great job. =D

If you want me to say something constructive: it was very descriptive and true to William's character.

Gah, I hate being formal.

EEEEEEE...severe hints of JxS...-_-

Anyway, it seems okay, aside from said pairing I am trying not to notice. Not sure that even the adult Sissi would have that large a vocabulary, but it seems interesting.

As for Lyoko's new name, for some reason Terra Machina reminds me of a factory instead of a virtual world, but it's good.

I'm still completely in the dark of what is to happen next; I don't have any good guesses. If that's your intention, good job. If it's not...then uh oh. Although if it's not your intention, it's probably something on my part. -.-

Just please be careful not to stray too much from CL's original plot line. I understand that yes, this is the future and a new age, and much has changed since the end of the series, but straying too far from the usual plot and into unknown territory won't always keep your readers on track. You're doing a very good job with very good description, and you're making use of vocabulary, as well as staying true to Jeremie's character (as far as I can notice), but just be sure not to take the plot too far away from what most readers are comfortable with reading.

Just try to focus a bit more about the things we know most about, and what we're used to seeing and most familiar with: Lyoko/Terra Machina (now), and also Jeremie and the original characters. Inventing too many characters will have heads spinning...or mine, at least. x.x

As for the perspectives, I haven't been keeping track of them a lot, but just be sure not to use too many, because then it gets confusing.

But you've been doing a great job with detail and your plot, as well as staying true to a lot of the usual things, such as Jeremie's character. Keep up the good work.

Nice to see that two UMAX episodes in a row aren't taking up the "Most Recent" box anymore.

I have to admit, it's just slightly unsettling to see a Lyoko battle without any of the real Lyoko Warriors...but good job. Not much advice I can give, except to again try not to stray too far from the original Code Lyoko.

Although I can't really tell where you're going with the plot at the moment, it seems interesting. I'm assuming that you have reasons for straying a bit more from Jeremie's point of view, probably reasons related to the developing plot. Great job so far, and interesting revelation at the end of this chapter. :)

It's still a bit confusing for me...-.- But I think it's mostly because I'm used to the usual characters of CL.

Good work...although if there were any specific details to pick up, I don't think I noticed them. -_-

As I said somewhere else, it seems a little strange, because wouldn't this appearance of Xana provoke an outright rebellion from the Lyoko Warriors, or at least some action to stop him? But it seems good so far, so good job.

This is definitely your best work, in my opinion, so far. Somehow...it just fits: Ulrich's personality, his father's perfectionism, and all the other elements that make Ulrich up. Great job.

Good use of codes (I myself happen to know that code :P), keep trying to pull out the detail. :) If I could make a suggestion, try to equally depict the scenes on Lyoko and Earth (as in on the Replika and Translated on Earth) with equal detail, so that one scene is the focus and the other is just a shadow. I mean, just try to make sure that both scenes have enough detail in them to not leave too many questions for the reader. ^^;

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try to keep that in mind! :D