Oi! We want a word with you! Synopsis: the cast of Code Lyoko are pissed and want the fan fic authors to know why (must read, it is good!)

 “Oi You we want a word with you! Yeah were talking to you! Authors and Authoresses of the net” yells an extremely pissed off group of Lyoko warriors. 

JEARMY: firstly, will you stop guessing or coming up with ideas for my Lyoko form, I have one, I’m just never going to use it, you got that? 

ODD: nice start Einstein. 

YUMI: now onto some other issues, like for example the show is based in France all right? OKAY, so some of us maybe of Japanese or German or of African descent, our nationality is still French. 

ULRICH: our currency is not Francs or even Bucks we do not use dollars we use Euros’, also I’m the captain of the Football team not Soccer team, Americans call it that us in France like the English call it Football. 

ODD: and you know why? ‘cos it involves running around a field kicking a ball with your foot (Football) while American Football only involves contact between the ball and your feet during penalties, do I make myself clear? 

Aelita: also the relationship things are really starting to irritate me, many fic’s portray me as clueless and naive, even though in the series I appear more mature and older, and worse some have portrayed me as a slut! Oh hold me Jearmy. 

JEARMY: I love Aelita, that much is true, so why do you… 

ODD: heartless Bastards and Bitches? 

JEARMY: why do you try to break us up, I will never start dating Yumi or Sissi or any random OC that just happens to turn up. 

AELITA: and as much as you perverts would drool over me and Yumi as lesbian lovers, were not in love and would never do that, neither will I fall in love with Odd, Ulrich or William or any one else, I like Jearmy (strokes his cheek gently.) 

ODD: God get a room (mumbles) Ow (Yumi hits him) OK, OK on the subject of lurve, frenching, while French kissing is a widely accepted and recognized term for deep throating, tongue wrestling, you know kissing with some tongue action, as my assistants here demonstrate. 

Yumi and Ulrich grab each other in a passionate embrace their mouths lock together as their tongues touch in an orgasm of pure love. 

ODD: now you two really need a room, in France, especially seen as how we are French, all types of kissing from a snog like that to a peck on the lips is a French kiss, you understand? 

JEARMY: how long do you think they’ll be like that? 

AELITA: let them enjoy the moment. 

ODD: while the love birds are busy, let’s talk about my love life. 

JEARMY: let’s not (mumbles) 

ODD: I have no feelings for Sissi, alright I admit she’s nice to look at but I am not about to start dating her. 

JEARMY: she wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last guy on Earth. 

ODD: yeah, but the real reason is I couldn’t stand her attitude and personality, besides although I’m a womanizer as stated in the TV series and therefore going on dates with some of the minor characters is possible. 

AELITA: he is not in love with me, even if he does sometimes flirt with me. 

Jearmy scowls at Odd who looks distinctly uncomftable. 

ODD: not only is Aelita Jearmy’s girl but I am pretending she’s my cousin so that would also be wrong if the rest of Kadic find out. 

JEARMY: and if he fell in love with Yumi, Ulrich would kill him. 

ODD: and the Oddrich pairings are just a no! 

Aelita: Yumi would kill you (so would Sissi and every other girl in the school) 

ODD: if I have to have a girlfriend I’d prefer it to be Sam (sure she was only in one episode, but go on watch it) it was real love, you can tell. 

Aelita: Jearmy! How long is it possible for the human body to go without oxygen? 

JEARMY: I’m not sure but if they keep this up they’ll have broken the record. 

SISSI: OH my GOD! 

Ulrich and Yumi break apart and blush a furious crimson red colour. 

ODD: another 30 seconds and they’d have broken the record (sadly.) 

SISSI: what were you doing?!? 

YUMI: what’s it look like? 

ULRICH: Sissi I don’t like you and I never will like you, I lov..like Yumi. I will never fall in love with or date you or anyone else in the Kadic or especially any OC’s either  

YUMI: Oh Ulrich I lov…like you too, Williams, sort of pushy and just a friend, their was never anything between me and Theo I swear. 

SISSI: Gag! Ulrich’s mine! 

ODD: why don’t you try Herb? I’m sure he’d be more than will… 

SISSI: complete that sentence and I’ll have you killed my Father is my puppet, I’m the one who really runs this joint, I’ll make you pay for this, and those Censored Fan fic writers too. 

ULRICH: what have they ever done to you? 

SISSI: paired me with him for a start (points at Odd) 

ODD: feelings mutual (ducks behind Ulrich and Yumi) 

SISSI: and I wouldn’t touch that cow, even if I was into that sought of thing, which I’m not cos I’m certainly not Bi and I love Ulrich 

YUMI: good because if I were a lesbian and their were no other girls in the world I’d rather do it with a man than you 

SISSI: I am not a tart or a slut, no matter what any of you say, I’ll be back, to get revenge on you all!!!! 

ODD: she has issues 

ULRICH: forget her, can you please knock it off with the insane OC’s like we’d allow anyone else to go to Lyoko after the William disaster 

YUMI: especially if their related to us, or from another TV series, We HATE! Crossovers! But even more stop it with the after Lyoko fics, I have no intention of having a teenage pregnacncy despite what some of your obvious preggy fetish deluded minds would like to think 

AELITA: Yumi’s a sensible, modern girl 

YUMI: I’m on the pill 

ULRICH: WHAT!!!!!!! 

YUMI: (hisses) I’m still a virgin  

JEARMY: wait a minute, this can’t be!!!! 

AELITA: has Xana launched another attack, rember it’s spelt Xana but pronounced Zanna  

JEARMY: worse! 

YUMI: worse than Xana? 

ULRICH: what is it? 

JEARMY: I’ve just hacked into our Authors (Exalons) computer and in his next fic he commits half the offences we’ve just listed! 

ODD: why that Smug, self centered, hypocritical Git! 

EVERYONE: lets get him, I’ll tear him limb from limb, mess with us huh? 

Oopsie it’s the end of the fic, awww what a shame, hey what no, no, how’d you get in the real world, no stop  it Kiwi leave my undies alone arrgh, owwww, the pain, someone call a veterinarian, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh Yumi Aelita don’t do anything you’ll regret, Ulrich? OOOOOOhhhhhhh God, someone save me!!!!!! Jearmy what are you doing to that robot? Odd, no not the electrodes, I’ll be good, I’ll be good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Normal service will be resumed when the Author comes out of intensive care