Trouble with Mom's fiancé...

[Sankyou offline]

Josh, my mom's fiancé, is a great guy. But he ignores me constantly - he acts like I'm not there. He plays with my younger brother and talks with my grandmother, but I'm invisible to him.

Recently, Mom has become upset because she thinks I'm avoiding him, which is true. If he wants to shun my existence, I can block out his just as easily.

I'm having a lot of trouble. Any ideas?

[ambitiouslove offline]

Well, communication works both ways
If you'd like to start developing a friendship with him, I would at least start with something small lile... greeting him when he enters your home, or something like that.

I don't think you would want your Mom to be upset, like she has to choose between the two of you. I think to make your Mom happy you can at least try and step up first. I think she'd be proud and happy of you if you did that

Just my thoughts Good luck!

[Rail Runner offline]

Be nice to the guy..you would be suprised at how far that can take you towards at least starting a relationship. You dont know his feelings, and he doesnt know yours, so unless you talk to him...then neither of you will know how the other feels. Communication is always a good thing, regardless of the outcome.

[Gauntlet offline]

I agree with what ambitiouslove and Highway Runner said.

Ignoring him like you feel he's ignoring you won't help. Why should you change yourself over someone's actions? If you choose to ignore him like he's neglecting you, you...aren't really going anywhere, are you? I'm pretty sure Josh doesn't mean to ignore you either; if you try to communicate with him a lot more, and really try, I'm sure you could develop a better relationship with him. That doesn't mean you have to support the thing all by yourself because he'll probably want to change too once he realizes how much you want to try. You may also want to ask your mother for some help; I'm sure she would like to see a similar outcome, and I'm willing to bet she'd talk to Josh if you wanted it.

Hope everything goes alright.

[jaimehlers offline]

Well, you should tell your mom about your concerns, but you should also at least try to reach out to him (since he doesn't seem to be reaching out to you at all).

[Sankyou offline]

Thanks guys. I'll take your advice; it means a lot to me.

[Tom Bone offline]

Start a conversation with him about a subject that you are both interested in; something will probably happen from there.

[zex marquise offline]

Definitely. Have talk with him and ask him politely what is going on. Refusing to talk about a problem always ends up in a big problem. Must... resist... urge to make analogy... to America's war history! AHHHHG! Better now.