Un Monde Sans Paix

[SilverPrince offline]

Yes, yes, I know. I should be working on Ex Libris Lyoko. But apparently, more people are keen on this idea, and I kinda was too... so here it is. Apparently I like foreign language titles. Un Monde Sans Paix, I believe, translates to "A World Without Peace."

Here's the premise. I kinda got the idea from a conversation here between Tanget128 and timekitten. So kudos to them.
The idea is that Russia, Brazil and the US discover their labs trashed and full of robots. Through backup logs, they discover that France is the culprit. I won't reveal details, but eventually the world gets embroiled in World War Three and the Lyoko Warriors have to end the war by proving XANA did it, but without they themselves getting arrested.

I have written Chapter 1: Discoveries, and will start on Chapter 2 ASAP. I think I may be rushing things, plot-wise, but ah well. Someone very wise once told me "If the plot bunnies are rampaging, let them go. They make very interesting messes." And so, I shall do that. Here it is, Un Monde Sans Paix.

[JesusFreak offline]

Wow...you even spelled Condolezza. Kudos.

[SilverPrince offline]

>.> Only because it's in Microsoft Word's spell checker. I would have no clue otherwise. But it would have been unprofessional to call her Condi the whole time...

[JesusFreak offline]

Still, it was a good fic start, even if I don't think having three periods is a good way to end a chapter...

[SilverPrince offline]

The three periods means...

CLIFFHANGER. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

[Carth]

OWO

MOAR.

MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

[SilverPrince offline]

I'm writing Chapter 2 right as of this moment. Maybe if we're all lucky, it'll be done by tonight.

[Tangent128 offline]

Excellent!
(Pedro? I seem to remember him from another thread... )

And the pacing's fine! I like a lively tempo.

[Stonecreek]

It is a good start, but I agree that the cliffhanger, especially in chapter one, is too much. Technically sound, but some sentences run on too long. The idea, though, is golden, and that's why I'll continue reading.

[JesusFreak offline]

Excellent!
(Pedro? I seem to remember him from another thread... )

And the pacing's fine! I like a lively tempo.

Just please, puleeeeeeeeeeeaze don't make a Napolean Dynamite joke.

[Sciron offline]

I really like it. It's a good idea, and whaddaya know, it could happen as a Season 5.

[Taelia offline]

It could, but still I worry.

[ODDCHEEZY offline]

Not bad. I'll definitely come back for more. So Write More!

[SilverPrince offline]

Chapter 2, "War", is now up. >.> I had to do a lot of research on Moscow, Washington DC and Brasilia. You'll see why when you read it.

[Taelia offline]

Wow! Jim's gonna try to stop this himself? Way to go! Maybe the Lyoko Warriors have a new friend on their side after all! =D

[Sciron offline]

I've gotta say that that was one of the best chapters I've read in a while. The historical accuracy really helps a lot.

Although...I have no clue about what's gonna happen from here.

[SilverPrince offline]

Ah, but I do. Or at least I have a vague idea.

Thank you, and I did a lot of research on the capital cities of Brazil, Russia and even my own nations' capital- Washington DC, and a buttload on other things. And if I'm not fully accurate on some things... it's a fanfiction, a world seperate from the real one. So I've got a little liberty. Although I do prefer to be as accurate as possible.

[Sciron offline]

So far, it's been pretty accurate. But hey, I never knew about half the stuff mentioned about the other international governments.

[Tangent128 offline]

Even more intense! (I'd think Jeremie's mother would not be in a joking mood, but that's the only nitpick.)

I don't live far from D.C.; it seems mostly accurate. The Pentagon is in Arlington, not Alexandria, though. Presumably, the existing tensions would insure Congress was in session, not scattered throughout D.C.

Keep it up!

[SilverPrince offline]

Arlington, Alexandria... same thing. >.> And hey, someone has to keep the mood up. And moms are typically good at that.

However, I did just update the chapter, changing Alexandria to Arlington, and to fix a mistake that thankfully none of you appeared to notice. FF.net is a little slow with updates, though. >.>

Also, here is a little "promotional poster" type of thing I made.

[JesusFreak offline]

...


...




So...Much...Awesomeness...

[desincarnation offline]

Great story! Can't wait for next chapters!

[SilverPrince offline]

Taelia, I have a feeling you may like this chapter. I may have gone way off Jim's character for this chapter, but I think it adds some new depth to Jim.

Chapter 3 "The Guilt of Jim Morales" is now up. Here are some alternate titles I had:
"Jim"
"Jim's Guilt and Jim's Plan"
"From the Book of Jim"*
"The Day Jim Talked About It"

In case you haven't noticed, this is a very Jim-centric chapter. Chapter 4 is on the way.
*Please note that "From the Book of" is English for "Ex Libris". This chapter doubly functions as Jim's Ex Libris story, in a way.

[Taelia offline]

I can just imagine David Gasman reading this chapter. I love David to death.

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I give the latest chapter a 50/50 rating. Some parts of it I adored like Jim saying that the Kadic schoolchildren are his life, and disappointed with the part about Jim's so called teaching them discipline (remembers well Millie's quote to Jim in "Teddygodzilla" and Jim's saying that the three boys parents were sick of them in "Rock Bottom")

In-show Jim clearly reminds me of my sixth-grade teacher Mr. Tolerton. He was a cruel, hateful monster, and I despised him. My version of Jim teaches self-control to his surrogate children but not through yelling or being a monster. Just to letcha know, Lyoko422.

[SilverPrince offline]

Jim doesn't teach the kids by being a monster. He teaches the kids with push-ups and sports and such, just like every other gym teacher. He's not a monster to anyone, he's not really a monster at all, he just thinks he is. I think psychologists call it "Survivor's Guilt"- when you lose someone close for some reason, and you were there but survived it, you think it is your fault that they died. I'm no psychologist, but that could be what Jim has.