Ugh, guess it's time I rant. : |

[Asantewaalrus offline]

So, I've likely complained about my Mother more than once on this forum.

To make a long story short, she gets on my last nerve, and I have some pretty strong nerves.

Most of the time I feel like my Mom is a child, and as terrible as this is to say, in most cases I approach her like an infant—give her what she wants to keep her from throwing tantrums, leave her alone when she throws tantrums, and constantly "baby" her with compliments and affections when it seems like pulling them out my ass will be worth it.

Frankly, I'm sick of walking on eggshells with my parent.

To make matters worst, more or less she wants to live like a free-spirited child. She wants someone to take care of her, she doesn't want to work and she really just wants to sit back and enjoy life. In her defense, who doesn't? She has issues keeping a job, she hasn't worked in over two years and we've moved a total of thirteen times in the last four years—she either fails to pay the rent and has it pile up, gets into it with our landlords or roommates because her personality is incredibly overbearing, or finds something wrong one way or another.

We pack up, we leave—rinse and repeat.

She also has incredibly expensive taste, one of the prime reasons we've moved so much is because she keeps renting these elaborate homes or spending money on expensive furniture and things we really don't need.

I know, I'm only going on and on about the bad things. And she does have redeeming qualities, but most of them fail to make-up for the things she does... She works on impulse, she doesn't really think before she acts, and if she doesn't have her way there's hell to pay.

I've considered moving out several times, a lot of my friends and distant family have offered, and I have moved out once before, but part of me feels like that would be stupid. I only have a little over a year and a half left to deal with her, and I've gotten a lot better with how much she pisses me off, but still...

I'm losing my patience.

What really pisses me off is how she tries to take credit for raising me, acting like she was some huge part of my life. I've only lived with her for a little over three or four years. My grandparents took care of me, I barely saw her growing up, only when playing parent was convenient for her.

My older sister has pretty much cut off all ties with her and has to literally be harassed to get in touch with her. This is irrelevant, I know, but I'm ragin'.

She gets pissed at me when the people we live with don't get pissed at me but get pissed at her, apparently I'm suppose to keep up on the rent or something too, apparently it's my responsibility to be something other than at least polite so the rage is equally distributed. I'm sorry I do what you tell me to do and at least act nice towards the people that are letting us live with them.

When I was a kid, a good chunk of my family was sort of... no one really got along with her. She has a huge soft-spot for this and gets really pissed when I don't "defend" her or tell her she's right when she's wrong. There's a line, and I might sugarcoat some things for my own well-being, but I'm not going to defend something I think is wrong. People have constantly told her the same things over and over and she still doesn't listen, she hasn't even tried them.

A few months ago we moved to Atlanta to get on our feet. Mom was suppose to come here, get a job and save some money. She hasn't gotten a job, has barely done anything to really look for one and most of her days are either spent screwing around on Facebook, watching movies, or taking an online class that's really not doing much of anything. Most of the money she's gotten has been used on over-furnishing a tiny bedroom we share instead of, y'know, being saved.

She fluctuates between being a parent, between acting like a friend, between being an overbearing bitch and complaining about how terrible her life is and not doing anything about it to a charming five-year old.

I love my Mom, I guess, and I try to accept her for the heap of rage she is. I meet her eye-to-eye more often than not, but it gets difficult after awhile. Even if I try talking to her about what she's doing wrong, no matter how discreet, she never listens.

Anyway, sorry, just ranting, looking for pity and all that shit. : |

None of this made sense, ignore this, I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[JesusFreak offline]

How old are you, if she wants you to help pay the rent?

[jym1 offline]

well, give her credit for having the initiative to move and make a plan to save...sometimes things like that are easier said than done, especially if the only jobs you can get are really hard, low paying, dead end jobs. At least she doesn't get drunk all the time or abuse or hit you (I assume since you didn't mention it, that doesn't happen...correct me if I'm wrong).
What she needs, is to be able to see life in short term and recognizable goals..not the long term "get a job and save money." And she needs to hear it from someone she respects, and will listen to, and who can help her get back on track. Have this person suggest going back to school to learn a trade (Certified nursing assistant, or bartender for example doesn't take that long to get)
My advice is not to move out yet...wait until you go to college, and try to get as many scholarships as you can (since it doesn't look like she'll be helping much with tuition). Just choose a school as far away as possible.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

The only thing is, at least to her, most people sound like a dead record when telling her things—my grandparents have tried to reason with her, her siblings have tried reasoning with her, her friends have tried reasoning with her... and even the one person that she respects, despite claiming to listening to him, she sort of blows off when things don't go her way. Countless people have helped her, but once she gets back on her feet she sort of stumbles back down.

It would be incredible if she took up a trade, but she uses her "old" age as an excuse and wants to follow her childhood dream of becoming a singer. She was in a band for a little, and that was bringing in minimum income, but she screwed that over after getting into it with her band mates.

I guess at one point I did give her credit, and I understand that things are rough for her, but we're constantly going through a phase of rinse and repeat, if she just change—easier said than done, I know—a few of her ways, or took advice instead of hiding behind a superiority complex, things would likely be a bit better off. Not only that, but when things actually do get bad she panics, and this rarely ends well.

From what I've seen and from what I've heard, apparently my Mom's suffered from stubbornness since childhood, so... : |

Yeah, I think I can stand two more years. As much as I want to move out, I know handling it would be difficult—I'd have to juggle a job and school, pay for bills and hold-up my own. Nobody is going to take care of me, and frankly I wouldn't want to burden anyone.

And yeah, I know, I know, I'm making excuses by using my Mother's excuses.

[Dark William offline]

first indd it sucks
guess, ya need to ask ya grandma , maybe she knows why what is wrong with her daughter (SOrry for using the word wrong)
but, guess she needs to take first a partime job, for 2 days. then if she can take it, doing more days.

hope I helped