So there's a bit (ahahaha I'm hilarious) of backstory to this. In primary/elementary school, I always pretty much had the same group of 3 friends. A fourth one was added when I started secondary school (what's after elementary - kind of like middle school and high school combined) and I gave her the nickname Momo, 'cause her middle name is Peach. That and I think it's cute BUT THAT IS IRRELEVANT
The girl's fantastic at drawing. Like, I was never that sure what made me like her, but her art was definitely one of them. I loved it, and she always drew a lot of comics, and I would always tell her they're cool and how she drew certain things that I like to see in comics (which is usually something subtle or insignificant, like puffs of breath when it's cold or the person is tired). Momo was always pretty shy for the first three years of secondary - apparently she had been bullied a lot in primary school. By fourth year she had developed a lot of personality, which... turned out to be "I don't care about anything and I do what I want". Put nicer, a free spirit. She lives in a huge family with about 6-7 siblings, three of which go secondary school in the same school as us, one of them just starting this year.
Also by fourth year, it was just me, Momo and another friend. The three of us got along pretty well, and there was an issue about Momo hurting a girl for bullying one of her sisters, which turned a lot of people against her, since she was the cousin of a girl in our year. I took a lot of grief for standing up for her in front of said girl (well, more for her sister, since she's quiet and a lot like me and I was pretty pissed about what happened) and I don't think she ever realised it. I didn't approve of what she did, but our classmates didn't care. My other friend didn't do much, since she's the kind of person who avoids trouble if she can. In the years since then, when I've been waiting with people I used to talk to quite a lot in primary school but don't anymore, they've always told me they were very wary about Momo since then. She was this quiet girl who lashed out at someone, and this freaked out a lot of people. I understood them completely, and didn't get mad at the girl who said she felt like this. I actually told her that I commended her for even saying this to a friend of hers, because backtalking is done too much nowadays and this was a lot better, y'know? Might be weird to a lot of people, but it's how I've felt about it for a long time.
Jump forward about two years to the results day for our exams a week or two ago. Momo didn't show up at school until about half an hour after my friend did, and I arrived about twenty minutes before her. We tried talking to her a lot, but she shut us out and just seemed focused on her results. We just figured she wasn't focused on anyone else, since her parents were with her too, and didn't think anything of it. Go forward a week to this Wednesday, our first day back at school. We were put in the same class again, but she ignored us... again. We were thinking that something was up, since Momo sometimes had bad days like this and she would eventually tell us she wasn't feeling too great, and it had been a week and she was still the same. We thought that maybe her exam results weren't too great, but she got an A in Art and she got back into the school, so...
My friend made many more attempts at talking to her than I did, since I caught on fairly early and knew when it was kinda pointless to try. When going to different places, and even going out for lunch which you can't do until our year, she went off with some other people. Most of them are pretty decent, save for one, who I used to be friends with until I got sick of her constant lying to make herself more likeable. Other people seem to have realised this, too, as she's kind of isolated, I noticed lately. I thought this was interesting. My friend thought that maybe Momo was ignoring us because we went camping during the summer and had invited her to come with us, but we called her on the day when I had arrived and she acted as if she'd never even known about it. So she kept apologising to her, despite not really knowing what we did wrong, which I kind of told her off for. But it's how the girl is. She's not that good with words either, so it sounded a little pathetic and didn't work as a result. It was like this the next day, as well. Even her sisters, who we got along with (especially the one I mentioned that got bullied and I liked a lot) incredibly well, were ignoring us when we said hello to them in the corridors.
Today we went to this outdoor activity centre, for teambuilding exercises and stuff. On the way there, my friend just said to her "can we not just make up and be friends again" to which Momo smiled, put on her headphones/anti-social headguard and said "no" before walking faaaar ahead of us. That got me pissed and my friend really upset. Another thing about Momo is that she's quite... manipulative of people's feelings. Best example of this was when this guy had a blatant crush on her and she just ended up screwing with him, and now he hates her. This was something I was always wary of, but I'm a very accepting person and didn't feel weird about being her friend over it. Momo was still Momo, but apparently not anymore. To us, anyway. We were put in the same group for the activities, and I did still say things to her just out of habit and she talked back, but it was pretty small talk. There was a lot of touchy-feely during some of the exercises as well (which were actually incredibly fun and funny, as iffy as I make it sound) and we were all able to laugh over it, and I thought maybe Momo'd warmed up a bit.
Then I got home and a few hours later, my friend was calling me saying that something horrible was going on. She said Momo left a message on some RPG site they use... and it was basically saying how much she always hated us. I was like, ok. My friend was saying something about how she even considered suicide because of how depressed she was and I was STILL "like, ok" because I'm very chill about receiving 'news' like this by this stage. I asked my friend to send me the message, since I didn't want her to read it out (she was really upset) and it was a matter of preference, as well. My first opinion was that this is actually a very dumb message, but... yeah. (lol I had to censor this for the open forum)
Thanks for apoligising but i dont think u really mean wat ur saying. You to act just like the 'friends' i had in primary school. You dont care for me tessa just likes to make me feel small and stupid because it makes her feel big and u follow her.
Dont apoligise for tessa if she cant say sorry herself then she doesnt care i dont give a **** at all about her ive had enough of her. Tessa's a ***** for not being able to but her oversized ego aside to say sorry.
I dont think everything will be fixed either just like that. This has been goin on for at least 2 or more years now and u 2 completely knocked my confidence. I was also suffered from depression for a while because of stuff at home and the because tests u 2 didnt help at all..
I dont think that we can be friends anymore sorry but i will talk to u but thats it.
I put up with u 2 for long enough im not gonna let u drag me down anymore u arent worth it. I can do better.
So, uh... there's a lot of stuff in this, and a lot of that stuff that doesn't even make sense. Tessa is me, if anyone is confused.
I'm an intelligent person and my grades show it, so Momo probably thinks this gives me a huge ego. She once told me her parents thought pretty much the same thing, which I now wonder about. I think she should actually be happy that she isn't smart like I am, because at least people would talk to her. Nobody ever talks to me. I don't think she realises how often I look down on myself (not so much anymore - "I got better") in certain aspects, and she should know I do everything in my power to make people feel good about themselves, because Momo is a cool person and she often acted really mopey about stuff. There may have been times were I was sarcastic, but I don't remember ever saying something to her to make her feel crap. I would never want to do that. If I did, then I didn't know, and Momo never told me. She's expecting me to say sorry and I don't even know what I need to be apologising for, and even accepted my friend's apology despite knowing anything either. I've had stuff happen at home - it might even be worse than what she has, or not (I don't want to think of this as a "who's had worse off" contest) - and I was acting mopey about it, but I made an effort to still talk to my friends while Momo never really does without some prodding. She talks as if we know what's up with her when we don't know anything. Momo never talks about her problems, just says she has them. That, I don't have a problem with. This, I do, because it's as if she expects us to magically know everything about her problems. It irritates me.
And you might notice there's nothing about suicide in that message - I don't actually know where my friend got that from. She might have panicked, or not told me everything. Either way, we had told our mums about it the moment we got the message and read it, and they talked for a while, and I think they said they were going to let the school know about it. Even if she isn't attempting/considering it, there's definitely something wrong, and our school is very good about doing something this, be it just keeping an eye on her or whatever. I know because of something that happened to my brother a long time ago.
Momo might not even mean half of this, which was my first thought, but the idea that she would think we try to treat her badly or whatever on purpose still kind of makes me sad. The three of us are close because we aren't that popular, and we did everything to involve all of us in whatever we did. One of the girls Momo hung out with during her ignoring period who we also know really well said that "she feels left out" around us, which... baffles me. I can only think of her being left out when she arrives late to everything, lives so far away from us, is essentially in her own world when her siblings are around/she's at home and when she doesn't even know her own house phone number. I mean, that isn't even completely my fault or my friend's, is it? I don't want to sound ignorant, but it sounds more like a problem on her part than ours. She doesn't seem to realise the efforts we've made to keep her involved with things. Or the fact that she talks the least when it's just the three of us around.
I'm not that bothered by this anymore, but I wanted to kind of get my thoughts together and see what other people think. You get a million internets for even reading all of this, but it was all a little necessary to understand what kind of person Momo actually is. I'm selective of my friends, but something about her just clicked with me. Hearing her say that she didn't even like us for those years without saying anything about it, regardless of whether or not she meant it, was a little unnerving, to say the least.
