Hi the reason it may be early is because A) My age and B) my girlfriend and I have been going out for four short amazing months.
Okay short story made shorter, I want to marry my girlfriend in about 5 years (Long time eh? but that's because our age and we both need to finish school and all that fun junk) but I don't know how to even tell my parents I've thought about it.
Also I'm ready to be told about the 5 year wait and/or the time we've been going out.
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This may be early but how can I tell my parents
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This may be early but how can I tell my parents
by matsumo itsu » Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:01 pm
by TheLQ » Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:51 pm
...
Early much? If you want to be taken serious by anybody, then your going to need 2+ years at the bare minimum. Nobody is going to listen to you (it might even turn ugly) if all you have are 4 short months
Early much? If you want to be taken serious by anybody, then your going to need 2+ years at the bare minimum. Nobody is going to listen to you (it might even turn ugly) if all you have are 4 short months
by xiaozanghou » Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:54 pm
I would recommend you not tell your parents.
Hate to break it to you, but four months isn't nearly enough time to completely know a person. Don't let being head over heels overly color your perceptions. If you want to get a real idea of what being married to her will be like, you need to experience living alone with her first, and that probably won't happen until you're out of school.
Hate to break it to you, but four months isn't nearly enough time to completely know a person. Don't let being head over heels overly color your perceptions. If you want to get a real idea of what being married to her will be like, you need to experience living alone with her first, and that probably won't happen until you're out of school.
by TheLQ » Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:19 pm
xiaozanghou wrote:Hate to break it to you, but four months isn't nearly enough time to completely know a person. Don't let being head over heels overly color your perceptions. If you want to get a real idea of what being married to her will be like, you need to experience living alone with her first, and that probably won't happen until you're out of school.
I forgot about that part.. opps.
Moving in with someone would be the best way to judge how they are. 2 of my friends have moved in with their boyfriend/girlfriend (one because they had a baby... I'm going to keep my mouth shut on how long thats going to last). Right now none have been married but they might be engaged (haven't seen them in a while). Even then though they've known each other for about 3 and half years now.
I will tell you, 4 months is not long enough. My experience is if they don't do talk to you much during or after summer (assuming this is a school relationship), then their not the right person. Please, do not rush things. That girl who I said had a baby? For about 2 days she was freaking out when the realization 5 months in that she is going to be engaged to this person who she had a baby with in high school. Not good.
I know us guys like things, but it can wait. You have many more years before you need to start thinking about this kind of stuff. I'm not saying wait till your 30, but just don't do things before you realize the actual implications of them.
Since talking on a forum isn't exactly the most encouraging advice (or in some cases the best one), try talking to an adult that you would trust not to tell. It can be a school counselor, family friend, friend's parent, or even relative. They can offer the best advice that has the highest chance of being listened to.
by SilverPrince » Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:54 pm
I echo the above sentiments.
Look, marriage isn't something one just jumps into. It may seem like that, the way the movies and books and such put it, but it really isn't. I would advise against making plans so soon- you have no idea how things could be in 5 years. Don't set things in stone so early- it could lead to pain and heartbreak.
Four months is a very short time to already begin talking about spending the rest of your lives together. Too short a time. You're young. Youth is a crazy time where things don't often stay the same for long periods of time. You have no idea what life might throw at you; I reiterate that it would be wise not to set concrete plans.
I'm not saying break up with the girl. But keep things where they are for the moment, and if you're still her boyfriend in five years, that would be the time to start considering marriage. Deciding on something like marriage takes a lot of time, and a lot of thought.
A friend of mine married someone after going out for somewhere around three months. A few weeks ago, his facebook statuses were all mopey and one of them was "I'll sign the papers when you're ready." A few days later, I noticed his relationship status was once again "Married." My point in telling you this is that young people often make decisions brashly and can lead to consequences. Not to say that you're immature, but I advise to wait until the both of you have grown a bit; you'll be able to think about these things a bit straighter.
Also, this.
Oh, and I haven't answered your question. I would also recommend to hold off telling your parents. You need to be sure about what you think and what she thinks before you tell them.
Look, marriage isn't something one just jumps into. It may seem like that, the way the movies and books and such put it, but it really isn't. I would advise against making plans so soon- you have no idea how things could be in 5 years. Don't set things in stone so early- it could lead to pain and heartbreak.
Four months is a very short time to already begin talking about spending the rest of your lives together. Too short a time. You're young. Youth is a crazy time where things don't often stay the same for long periods of time. You have no idea what life might throw at you; I reiterate that it would be wise not to set concrete plans.
I'm not saying break up with the girl. But keep things where they are for the moment, and if you're still her boyfriend in five years, that would be the time to start considering marriage. Deciding on something like marriage takes a lot of time, and a lot of thought.
A friend of mine married someone after going out for somewhere around three months. A few weeks ago, his facebook statuses were all mopey and one of them was "I'll sign the papers when you're ready." A few days later, I noticed his relationship status was once again "Married." My point in telling you this is that young people often make decisions brashly and can lead to consequences. Not to say that you're immature, but I advise to wait until the both of you have grown a bit; you'll be able to think about these things a bit straighter.
TheLQ wrote:Since talking on a forum isn't exactly the most encouraging advice (or in some cases the best one), try talking to an adult that you would trust not to tell. It can be a school counselor, family friend, friend's parent, or even relative. They can offer the best advice that has the highest chance of being listened to.
Also, this.
Oh, and I haven't answered your question. I would also recommend to hold off telling your parents. You need to be sure about what you think and what she thinks before you tell them.
Stonecreek wrote:I miss the boob bots. At least they were peddling something I have interest in...
by matsumo itsu » Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:10 am
Alright I was expecting these responses, also who ever said if it is a high school relation, we normally see each other 2-3 times a week and we've been out of school for awhile in fact it's about to start back up.
by xiaozanghou » Sat Aug 14, 2010 2:40 am
Yeah, 2-3 times a week isn't gonna cut it. If you're dead set on marrying her, you need to get into this mindset: most married couples are around each other almost every day, for the majority of the day if they aren't at work or getting in a few hours of free time. If the both of you can work up to eventually doing the above without getting on each other's nerves, there's hope. However, both of you are still in school and not living together, therefore this is going to be very difficult until you graduate/move out.
Aside from that:
If you're wanting to get married because you both have the same likes/dislikes, you both get along extremely well, you both know that it'll work out, everyone says you both are great together, and you both click better than anyone else you two have ever dated--sorry man, marriage isn't for you.
Marriage isn't like dating. It's a huge step and requires a lot--and stressing this--a lot of planning if you both want to do it right. It doesn't matter if you're thinking about it five years down the road. Now's a good time as any.
When you both reach that point where you can live and provide for her and know that she will do the same for you, and when you both can agree and work toward a plan based on mutual decisions on things like where to live, what to spend your money on, whether or not you want kids, etc., then you can consider getting married.
In today's world, four months is still figuring out whether or not the relationship will last a year. Like the other dude said, shoot for two years and then see where you both are at.
Aside from that:
If you're wanting to get married because you both have the same likes/dislikes, you both get along extremely well, you both know that it'll work out, everyone says you both are great together, and you both click better than anyone else you two have ever dated--sorry man, marriage isn't for you.
Marriage isn't like dating. It's a huge step and requires a lot--and stressing this--a lot of planning if you both want to do it right. It doesn't matter if you're thinking about it five years down the road. Now's a good time as any.
When you both reach that point where you can live and provide for her and know that she will do the same for you, and when you both can agree and work toward a plan based on mutual decisions on things like where to live, what to spend your money on, whether or not you want kids, etc., then you can consider getting married.
In today's world, four months is still figuring out whether or not the relationship will last a year. Like the other dude said, shoot for two years and then see where you both are at.
by jym1 » Sat Aug 21, 2010 10:52 pm
I'm going to take the totally opposite side of the spectrum here and say that 4 months is just fine to know if you want to marry someone.
now, before everyone tries to kill me, let me explain myself....
when you date someone for many years and then marry them, you think you know everything about them...especially if you've been living with them.
I hate to sound like a pessimist here about humanity, but the way you think you know someone who isn't family is just a facade. You can know someone for years, even live with them...but then you'll find out some unpleasant things after a few months of marriage. This has broken up countless couples for two reasons: A) you thought you knew everything about the person and now your finding out that you can't live with some of those annoying habits, and you feel tricked or B) you expect that your partner has fully accepted everything about you "as is" because "she's known me for so long" and now you can't understand why she insists on certain things, or has other demands.
Suddenly things that previously made perfect sense like splitting the rent, division of chores, and what ever else becomes a much more intimate and hard to negotiate matter. In short, both of you are less willing to work to make the marriage go smoothly because you feel things should be 'as they always have been' even though it's not.
When you've known someone for only a few months, you've had just enough time to find out if the person is someone who you can get along with, if you have similar interests, family values, long term plans, etc...but you don't have any pre-conceived ideas. You go into it fully expecting to find out the deeper ins and outs of your partner (no sexual pun intended), and with the idea that you will have to compromise. When your starting out after years of knowing each other (with or without relations) the passion can only go down, or at best stay even...and you will both end up wishing for more oomph in your marriage (again, no pun intended). If you've only known each other for a few months (and better yet if you saved sex until after the marriage) than your mutual love and understanding of each other will grow.
I'm not saying that it can never work out, I'm just saying that I don't agree that it's so true what everyone is saying about having to date someone for a long time before knowing if you want to marry this person or not.
a good example of what I'm saying would be getting a collage room mate. You don't get to choose (generally), someone looks at your profile and matches you with someone else. Some of the time it fails, but usually it works out. Why? because when you first meet you are willing to learn about the other persons needs and expectations about use of the room. In the past, I've specifically asked not to be placed with my best friends because we both need our space, and often a petty argument between room mates that could normally be easily worked out (like coming in late and making too much noise) can ruin a long standing friendship.
But what I'm not saying is that marriage is a step to be taken lightly. You need to be able to handle bills, taxes, looking for jobs, and the inevitable baby (which costs something like $10,000 just for delivery and related hospital bills).
now, before everyone tries to kill me, let me explain myself....
when you date someone for many years and then marry them, you think you know everything about them...especially if you've been living with them.
I hate to sound like a pessimist here about humanity, but the way you think you know someone who isn't family is just a facade. You can know someone for years, even live with them...but then you'll find out some unpleasant things after a few months of marriage. This has broken up countless couples for two reasons: A) you thought you knew everything about the person and now your finding out that you can't live with some of those annoying habits, and you feel tricked or B) you expect that your partner has fully accepted everything about you "as is" because "she's known me for so long" and now you can't understand why she insists on certain things, or has other demands.
Suddenly things that previously made perfect sense like splitting the rent, division of chores, and what ever else becomes a much more intimate and hard to negotiate matter. In short, both of you are less willing to work to make the marriage go smoothly because you feel things should be 'as they always have been' even though it's not.
When you've known someone for only a few months, you've had just enough time to find out if the person is someone who you can get along with, if you have similar interests, family values, long term plans, etc...but you don't have any pre-conceived ideas. You go into it fully expecting to find out the deeper ins and outs of your partner (no sexual pun intended), and with the idea that you will have to compromise. When your starting out after years of knowing each other (with or without relations) the passion can only go down, or at best stay even...and you will both end up wishing for more oomph in your marriage (again, no pun intended). If you've only known each other for a few months (and better yet if you saved sex until after the marriage) than your mutual love and understanding of each other will grow.
I'm not saying that it can never work out, I'm just saying that I don't agree that it's so true what everyone is saying about having to date someone for a long time before knowing if you want to marry this person or not.
a good example of what I'm saying would be getting a collage room mate. You don't get to choose (generally), someone looks at your profile and matches you with someone else. Some of the time it fails, but usually it works out. Why? because when you first meet you are willing to learn about the other persons needs and expectations about use of the room. In the past, I've specifically asked not to be placed with my best friends because we both need our space, and often a petty argument between room mates that could normally be easily worked out (like coming in late and making too much noise) can ruin a long standing friendship.
But what I'm not saying is that marriage is a step to be taken lightly. You need to be able to handle bills, taxes, looking for jobs, and the inevitable baby (which costs something like $10,000 just for delivery and related hospital bills).
by JesusFreak » Tue Aug 24, 2010 10:22 am
4 months? lolwut?
Wait at least 2 more years, IMO.
Wait at least 2 more years, IMO.
Avvy by Tangent, as well as the button
by matsumo itsu » Wed Aug 25, 2010 7:47 pm
hey guys getting mostly all the responses I was imagining. I say mostly because Jym you gave my favorite answer, not just because it is against the crowd and most beliefs but because you believe that it is in fact a good idea to marry early to learn the other person better in a sort.
by TheLQ » Wed Aug 25, 2010 7:52 pm
matsumo itsu wrote:hey guys getting mostly all the responses I was imagining. I say mostly because Jym you gave my favorite answer, not just because it is against the crowd and most beliefs but because you believe that it is in fact a good idea to marry early to learn the other person better in a sort.
I can see what your doing... Your just wanting an online community to agree with you so you feel better about it when you want to tell someone.
I would hope that you can look at these responses or even the response from a close friend and ask yourself, "Is this the right thing to do at this point in my life?" Please do not look only for encouragement and ignore everything else. We posted to help you pick whats best for you. Ultimately, its up to you.
Please, reread the responses.
by MY85 » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:01 pm
Early marriages usually backfire big time.matsumo itsu wrote:I say mostly because Jym you gave my favorite answer, not just because it is against the crowd and most beliefs but because you believe that it is in fact a good idea to marry early to learn the other person better in a sort.
Lani wrote:Eh, in the end, people (real or cartoon) are naked and having a good time. What's wrong with that?
by matsumo itsu » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:07 pm
actually I've asked 80% of my friends, 90% of which can be trusted not to blab to my girlfriends sister who then will bug me like a 12 year old saying
"aww how cute!". Also I mainly like his comment because jym goes against the crowd and actually amazed me and almost made me literally say wow.
"aww how cute!". Also I mainly like his comment because jym goes against the crowd and actually amazed me and almost made me literally say wow.
by Overcaffeinated Sloth » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:18 pm
He goes against the crowd. he must be right! *shot*
Seriously, it's a choice you need to make on your own. The number of people who go with one side or the other doesn't count for anything if it is your choice entirely. The majority of the posts above are not telling you not to make one choice over the other, but wait until you have the experience to make your choice correctly.
Seriously, it's a choice you need to make on your own. The number of people who go with one side or the other doesn't count for anything if it is your choice entirely. The majority of the posts above are not telling you not to make one choice over the other, but wait until you have the experience to make your choice correctly.
by matsumo itsu » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:24 pm
That is my plan just didn't know if I should tell my parents, or even my sister, which now I see I should wait.
by Tekirai » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:42 pm
Just.. no.
No.
I'm going to be blunt and tell you that this is one of the most retarded (a word I hate using) ideas a young person can have, and the fact that you're taking it seriously is very worrying.
There are many reasons why I think this, but some of their explanations are not the best to read if you have a gf/bf right now, regardless of how stable your relationship is. So it's going to seem like I'm calling you stupid for no reason, but I actually have many, many reasons for it.
Jym's answer is your ~~~favourite~~~ because now you're thinking HOORAY ONE PERSON AGREES WITH ME, SURELY THIS PLAN IS PERFECT!! and when I saw your latest post I actually felt angry. I left this thread alone, thinking other people would talk some sense to you, but I honestly could not sit aside anymore when I saw that post of yours. Seriously, don't be such an idiot. Deciding to marry this early is so dumb it's mind boggling. Screw your early marriage possibly not lasting - you might not even BE WITH this girl for the length of time you gave. That's delving into the reason I didn't want to explain, so no more there.
You are the cruelest of people for thinking that deciding to marry so early is a sign of your commitment or anything similarly positive, because it is actually one of the worst things you could put your girlfriend through. The marriage might not even last, as I said before, and you have no idea what having your marriage split is like. You might think "oh people split up all the time and they're sometimes even HAPPY about it", but you actually have NO idea. You can't take a peek inside their brains. It's screwing with people's feelings. Seriously, show some damn consideration for the girl and don't make a stupid decision like this. If you're not hurting yourself, you're hurting her, and that is one of the most inconsiderate things you could ever do.
I'm a firm believer in "people can think what they want", but for god's sake, don't put a person you think is important through a situation like that when it's so easily avoided. Please.
No.
I'm going to be blunt and tell you that this is one of the most retarded (a word I hate using) ideas a young person can have, and the fact that you're taking it seriously is very worrying.
There are many reasons why I think this, but some of their explanations are not the best to read if you have a gf/bf right now, regardless of how stable your relationship is. So it's going to seem like I'm calling you stupid for no reason, but I actually have many, many reasons for it.
Jym's answer is your ~~~favourite~~~ because now you're thinking HOORAY ONE PERSON AGREES WITH ME, SURELY THIS PLAN IS PERFECT!! and when I saw your latest post I actually felt angry. I left this thread alone, thinking other people would talk some sense to you, but I honestly could not sit aside anymore when I saw that post of yours. Seriously, don't be such an idiot. Deciding to marry this early is so dumb it's mind boggling. Screw your early marriage possibly not lasting - you might not even BE WITH this girl for the length of time you gave. That's delving into the reason I didn't want to explain, so no more there.
You are the cruelest of people for thinking that deciding to marry so early is a sign of your commitment or anything similarly positive, because it is actually one of the worst things you could put your girlfriend through. The marriage might not even last, as I said before, and you have no idea what having your marriage split is like. You might think "oh people split up all the time and they're sometimes even HAPPY about it", but you actually have NO idea. You can't take a peek inside their brains. It's screwing with people's feelings. Seriously, show some damn consideration for the girl and don't make a stupid decision like this. If you're not hurting yourself, you're hurting her, and that is one of the most inconsiderate things you could ever do.
I'm a firm believer in "people can think what they want", but for god's sake, don't put a person you think is important through a situation like that when it's so easily avoided. Please.
by Lani » Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:55 pm
I have one suggestion:
Go camping.
No, none of this grab a tent and be one mile away from civilization nonsense, I mean do it hardcore. You, your girl, and the wilderness. There will be no one around but you and her (and maybe some bears) and do this for like two weeks. If anything, that should be a test as to whether or not you would be really able to handle each other.
Hey, it's advice I've gotten from my parents Okay, I guess actually listening to advice from parents is something kids don't actually do til they're 20, but still. They did that, and they've been married quite happily for 20-some years. Sure it may not work for absolutely everyone, but it sounds like a good plan.
And out of personal experience, while you may want to marry someone after going out with them for about four months, NEVER assume this is how you're going to feel the rest of your time with them. Wait until at least a year. Wait until after you've gone through several rough spots in the relationship. Then re-evaluate your feelings.
Even if you do want to marry early, you have to think of a lot of things, especially money. How will you afford to not only support yourself, but your wife and possibly a child? How will you pay the bills? The mortgage on your house? It's a huge step in life and you have to be absolutely, 900000% sure you want to go through with it AND you can pull it off.
Either way, whatever you decide to do since it is ultimately your decision, just remember that you can't just look at yourself now and assume how things will be in the future simply from where you currently stand in life. Things can change in a flash. You might look back on this one day and think to yourself, "I can't believe I wanted to do this." You might even think that you're glad you thought of this so early. Just don't assume that things will turn out the way you want them to.
Go camping.
No, none of this grab a tent and be one mile away from civilization nonsense, I mean do it hardcore. You, your girl, and the wilderness. There will be no one around but you and her (and maybe some bears) and do this for like two weeks. If anything, that should be a test as to whether or not you would be really able to handle each other.
Hey, it's advice I've gotten from my parents Okay, I guess actually listening to advice from parents is something kids don't actually do til they're 20, but still. They did that, and they've been married quite happily for 20-some years. Sure it may not work for absolutely everyone, but it sounds like a good plan.
And out of personal experience, while you may want to marry someone after going out with them for about four months, NEVER assume this is how you're going to feel the rest of your time with them. Wait until at least a year. Wait until after you've gone through several rough spots in the relationship. Then re-evaluate your feelings.
Even if you do want to marry early, you have to think of a lot of things, especially money. How will you afford to not only support yourself, but your wife and possibly a child? How will you pay the bills? The mortgage on your house? It's a huge step in life and you have to be absolutely, 900000% sure you want to go through with it AND you can pull it off.
Either way, whatever you decide to do since it is ultimately your decision, just remember that you can't just look at yourself now and assume how things will be in the future simply from where you currently stand in life. Things can change in a flash. You might look back on this one day and think to yourself, "I can't believe I wanted to do this." You might even think that you're glad you thought of this so early. Just don't assume that things will turn out the way you want them to.
we will advance with sword in hand
for our cause is pure
for our cause is pure
by jym1 » Thu Aug 26, 2010 9:48 am
MY85 wrote:Early marriages usually backfire big time.matsumo itsu wrote:I say mostly because Jym you gave my favorite answer, not just because it is against the crowd and most beliefs but because you believe that it is in fact a good idea to marry early to learn the other person better in a sort.
I wasn't making it up, I have many real life examples that I know of personally. Both young, and (now) middle aged couples.
But what I wasn't advocating is getting married too young (even though the truth is that most of the people I know did get married fairly young).
Every decision has to be made on a case by case basis. If it's not right for you, than don't do it just because one person doesn't agree with the crowd (I didn't say I agree with you, only that I don't agree with the crowd).
Obviously the other members here know you better than I do, and can judge what's better for you
by green » Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:46 pm
jym1 wrote:MY85 wrote:Early marriages usually backfire big time.matsumo itsu wrote:I say mostly because Jym you gave my favorite answer, not just because it is against the crowd and most beliefs but because you believe that it is in fact a good idea to marry early to learn the other person better in a sort.
I wasn't making it up, I have many real life examples that I know of personally. Both young, and (now) middle aged couples.
But what I wasn't advocating is getting married too young (even though the truth is that most of the people I know did get married fairly young).
Every decision has to be made on a case by case basis. If it's not right for you, than don't do it just because one person doesn't agree with the crowd (I didn't say I agree with you, only that I don't agree with the crowd).
Obviously the other members here know you better than I do, and can judge what's better for you
I agree that it's all up to what kind of persons you and your girlfriend are. For all you know she may share the idea that 4 months is too early and flip out or something when you ask.
I will say that there's flip side to jym's statement about marring young: I live in an area where it's practically expected of someone to find who they're going to marry in High School and it has been for a while. I'd say a little over 90% of the adults I know locally got married young and have been divorced at least once, if not multiple times. With the SAME PERSON sometimes even.
Last edited by green on Thu Aug 26, 2010 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
by matsumo itsu » Thu Aug 26, 2010 5:42 pm
tekirai I am cruel? I gave the time 5 years meaning I am giving it time to see how it goes, I was just noting the mere amazement in jyms post! so don't call me a horrible person. And NOWHERE did I say "HOORAY ONE PERSON AGREES WITH ME, SURELY THIS PLAN IS PERFECT!!" those words never even entered my brain to any extent, I understand it's early and I know if we did get married lets say for example purposes tomorrow I know that it'd be to early and would not go say I do, I don't plan on saying that until I have a job to support us both. So don't even pretend to know my thought pattern.
by knifey » Thu Aug 26, 2010 6:17 pm
waitwaitwaitwait
Shouldn't this thread be in rant-- hahahahahahaha
lol
If you're going to wait five years until you get married, why don't you just discuss the subject of marriage four years later?
Shouldn't this thread be in rant-- hahahahahahaha
lol
If you're going to wait five years until you get married, why don't you just discuss the subject of marriage four years later?
Last edited by knifey on Thu Aug 26, 2010 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
pew pew lazorz
by green » Thu Aug 26, 2010 6:28 pm
knifey wrote:If you're going to wait five years until you get married, why don't you just discuss the subject of marriage four years later?
THISTHISTHIS
Seriously if you're waiting that long anyway then there's no point in telling anyone anything or really worrying about it at all. A lot happens in 5 years, feelings can change in a lot less than that
by Tekirai » Thu Aug 26, 2010 7:02 pm
matsumo itsu wrote:tekirai I am cruel? I gave the time 5 years meaning I am giving it time to see how it goes, I was just noting the mere amazement in jyms post! so don't call me a horrible person. And NOWHERE did I say "HOORAY ONE PERSON AGREES WITH ME, SURELY THIS PLAN IS PERFECT!!" those words never even entered my brain to any extent, I understand it's early and I know if we did get married lets say for example purposes tomorrow I know that it'd be to early and would not go say I do, I don't plan on saying that until I have a job to support us both. So don't even pretend to know my thought pattern.
...yeah, thanks for actually reading my post.
Do you know why I'm calling you a cruel person? The emotional pain you're going to put that girl through with this crazy idea of yours might be a nice reminder.
Tell her that you're getting married, go ahead. Get her all excited for the both of you. And then completely devastate her when it doesn't work out, which is very likely with all the factors taken into account. Is it really worth it? You keep saying you're going to wait _ years, but you seem to like the idea so much, to be so sure of yourself, you could probably go and propose to her right now if you could afford it and if the timing was better.
You haven't even mentioned how this girl might feel about this even once. It's just been you, you, you. You're gonna marry her. You don't know how to tell people about it. Maybe if you weren't being such a selfish and naive child, you would realise the emotional damage that could come from this.
Because you really don't seem to be able to grasp that.
by matsumo itsu » Thu Aug 26, 2010 7:07 pm
Okay I am jumping the gun I know this, well guess what first girlfriend and I'm nervous and I am naive from being so happy. Found someone so awesome. I am not about to tell her though, I know better than that.
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