Unsure of how to react to certain situations

[Carth]

Well, real life just threw me a curveball- nothing catastrophic, but also something I don't want to handle incorrectly. See, at school, I'm just starting to find some friends. I'm fitting into a group of girls, and I'm actually going shopping with some this weekend (I'M A NORMAL TEENAGE GIRL YAY). But I'm afraid I tread wrongly I might lose one- I won't, but my main purpose here is to get rid of my anxiety, because if I don't I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight.

I've become particularly friendly with one girl who's as funny and unique as I like in a person. Over the course of the past few months I should've gotten an inkling of what she told me tonight. Maybe cause she's unnaturally close with another friend of hers (they've been joined at the hip for almost forever, but this was a bit more intense). Maybe cause they tried to form a GSA last year (and failed, catholic school as this is). Maybe cause they're going to a gay rights march this weekend. But it should be pretty obvious what she said to me.

Of course I figured it out, and of course I'm going to be supportive! There is no reason that should change my perception of anybody. Except, god dammit, it IS. I'm afraid to see her come Monday, cause...the best way I can say it is that she'll have a big sign over her head that's screaming "YOU NOW KNOW FOR SURE THAT I AM GAY" and that I'll be acting odd toward her because of it. Almost like I have to walk on eggshells, or watch my words or something. Basically, I don't want to lose a friend if I do something wrong. Especially since I have also had trouble with my sexuality in the past...but no it's NOTHING like that. I am decidedly straight leaning bisexual leaning asexual thank you.

Basically, I want to find a way for this to not be a big deal, so I can relax and see the two of them for the two of them, not just the two of them with giant "GAY COUPLE" labels over their heads, even though I want to accept them for who they are, which I am of course totally willing to do.

Also, I want to find a way for her to never find out I wrote this, because she told me to "not shout it out" and I've already ranted to two people. You're all unrelated to the situation, I guess that helps...

[. offline]

Well, real life just threw me a curveball- nothing catastrophic, but also something I don't want to handle incorrectly. See, at school, I'm just starting to find some friends. I'm fitting into a group of girls, and I'm actually going shopping with some this weekend (I'M A NORMAL TEENAGE GIRL YAY). But I'm afraid I tread wrongly I might lose one- I won't, but my main purpose here is to get rid of my anxiety, because if I don't I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight.

I've become particularly friendly with one girl who's as funny and unique as I like in a person. Over the course of the past few months I should've gotten an inkling of what she told me tonight. Maybe cause she's unnaturally close with another friend of hers (they've been joined at the hip for almost forever, but this was a bit more intense). Maybe cause they tried to form a GSA last year (and failed, catholic school as this is). Maybe cause they're going to a gay rights march this weekend. But it should be pretty obvious what she said to me.

Of course I figured it out, and of course I'm going to be supportive! There is no reason that should change my perception of anybody. Except, god dammit, it IS. I'm afraid to see her come Monday, cause...the best way I can say it is that she'll have a big sign over her head that's screaming "YOU NOW KNOW FOR SURE THAT I AM GAY" and that I'll be acting odd toward her because of it. Almost like I have to walk on eggshells, or watch my words or something. Basically, I don't want to lose a friend if I do something wrong. Especially since I have also had trouble with my sexuality in the past...but no it's NOTHING like that. I am decidedly straight leaning bisexual leaning asexual thank you.

Basically, I want to find a way for this to not be a big deal, so I can relax and see the two of them for the two of them, not just the two of them with giant "GAY COUPLE" labels over their heads, even though I want to accept them for who they are, which I am of course totally willing to do.

Also, I want to find a way for her to never find out I wrote this, because she told me to "not shout it out" and I've already ranted to two people. You're all unrelated to the situation, I guess that helps...

She's not hitting on you Carthy, so just don't give a damn about it. Ignore it.

Also remember that Tolerance means just that. Tolerating something. Like a crying baby on a plane. Doesn't mean your necessarily have to be right on about it.

[xiaozanghou offline]

Coming from someone who has been out since he was 15, I can assure you that your friend probably does anticipate that things between you two be a little awkward for a while. They always are. However, she's counting you to be there as a friend, since they're apparently comfortable around you. That means something. She may understand the awkwardness you feel because she's probably received it from other friends before. Your friend will most likely understand if you slip up or say something odd after you take the time to explain whatever remark you hypothetically have made.

I've never attended a catholic school, but at my high school gay couples were pretty common, so nearly nobody thought any differently about them. If you haven't been exposed to homosexuality a lot before now, take it as a learning experience.

[jym1 offline]

people like your friend probably know that people will look at them and whisper for a while, but she still wants to be friends with you, and she needs friends. If you've gotten along until now, there is no reason you shouldn't from now on. You will have to watch what you say, but for example if she was African American would you not have befriended her because you might one day say something derogatory about blacks?
What I'm trying to say is that she probably knows it will be a little awkward, but she is willing to risk that and still be friends with you, so you should too.