So, I'm starting to dislike my Pops. : / [Long Rant Alert]

[Asantewaalrus offline]

I don't know my Father very well.

I know he's from Ghana, I know he's a very serious man, and I know that his name is Richard—other than a few stories I've been told on and off, a few snippets of information I tucked away from random conversation, and a few things I picked up over the years, he's almost a stranger.

I could be exaggerating, though.

Now, I'm not the type of kid who lashes out against authority and is a depressed heap of nothing because Daddy wasn't there, he has his own reasons for being absent in my life, and if a Father-figure was really that important to me I could easily attempt to get to know him—no one was holding me back; there's a problem though.

I don't want to get to know my Dad.
Maybe that’s not a problem, possibly, that’s just a choice.

I don't hate him or anything, but just like I said, I don't know him, and from the little things I do know, I just—I can't even explain it. He’s an amazing, somewhat kind-hearted man; there’ve been plenty of times where we could've sat down and had a half-decent conversation, but we're so uncomfortable around each other. He has no idea what to talk about and I have no urge to be rude and change the subject.

I'm not mad about our lack of communication, and most of the things that are fueling this pointless rant could've been easily fixed if I just got a backbone…

Anyway.

If there's one thing my Dad can talk about, it's school. He wants me to succeed; he wants me to be perfect.

Once again, a possible exaggeration.

“Perfectionâ€

[Carth]

Since I was a kid he has always shoved down my throat how much he wanted me to be a doctor, whenever he'd come to visit me the first and last thing that would spew out of his mouth would be about school and the future.

It took a lot out of me to even hint at possibly wanting to be a writer, and even then he was disappointed.

Every time I hear about parents steering a child toward a certain career path- especially being a doctor, second only to showbiz or modeling- I headdesk repeatedly.

Even if he might want you to follow that path, in the end, he has no control over what you do with your own mind and interests, which are logically going to be radically different from his, especially in this sort of situation. If he's not doing his part to be a big influence in your life, then he has no right to act like one, and you don't have to internalize it. And if he had any sense or understanding of how people work, he'd understand that, or realize it once he was made aware of it.

I'm all for the getting-a-backbone approach- don't let yourself be a victim. That might sound a bit harsh, but I can't quite think of a better word...anyway, one thing I can recommend, if it's possible in this situation, is, when you have the opportunity, to try and dispel some of that uncomfortable air. Try to find an opportunity to come to an understanding of one another, to maybe ease the pressure that he's putting on you, and stop some of the incorrect assumptions. I see you're sort of uneasy about letting go of him, which is why I don't think you should go on the way you're going, or cut things off with him, which is a bit passive-aggressive. I might be wrong- I don't know your family- but it might be for the best.

But if it can't change...like I said, if you don't want to do it, don't let it run your life. Doing something like medicine is a big step- something even he might not realize. (Though some unrelated advice I can give is that if you do want to be a writer, try to channel that interest into a job field that gives a good steady paycheck. Like...uh...well, I'm still trying to figure that out as well.)

I hope it turns out well, whatever happens! ^___^

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Well, yesterday when I had to go to the airport, a few things went wrong and I ended up going with my Dad. We were stuck in a car and pretty much together for two hours and… I guess I got a little but of a backbone, ha-ha.

He tried mentioning what I was complaining about earlier, and I just stopped him in his tracks. Told him where I was coming from, how he had made me felt and irritated me lately, and despite he laughed a little, I did get through to him. We came to a pretty okay understanding, he said he's going to back off a bit but still get on my ass about my studies, ha-ha.

Apparently, he was also sort of proud of me for opening up, 'cause he wasn't really sure how to do it himself. : /

We don't really have a tight relationship now, but talking to him isn't all that horrible. I'm pretty sure by this time next year I might get along with him a bit more.

Thank you though, Carth-darling~

Oh, on the note of writing and steady paychecks, I was thinkin' about journalism… but who knows, I still have a few years before I seriously need to decide, and I change my mind so damned much that it's sort of... insane, ha-ha.

[Carth]

Well, yesterday when I had to go to the airport, a few things went wrong and I ended up going with my Dad. We were stuck in a car and pretty much together for two hours and… I guess I got a little but of a backbone, ha-ha.

He tried mentioning what I was complaining about earlier, and I just stopped him in his tracks. Told him where I was coming from, how he had made me felt and irritated me lately, and despite he laughed a little, I did get through to him. We came to a pretty okay understanding, he said he's going to back off a bit but still get on my ass about my studies, ha-ha.

Apparently, he was also sort of proud of me for opening up, 'cause he wasn't really sure how to do it himself. : /

We don't really have a tight relationship now, but talking to him isn't all that horrible. I'm pretty sure by this time next year I might get along with him a bit more.

Bolded cause I thought it was important. 8D! *claps* See? It went well, and now things aren't as bad. I think. Anyway, great job. You did precisely the right thing. ^___^

I don't want to think about that either...I'm thinking of doing something journalism-or-communications related, or maybe related to comedy if I'm lucky enough...whilst simultaneously trying to write the Great American Pipe Dream. Hooray for imagination!