My sister has a lazy, good-for-nothing boyfriend

[SilverPrince offline]

Or rather, she did.

At about 2 AM, Eastern Daylight Time, my sister calls, and she is in tears. She asks is our mother is awake, and she wasn't. So she says she'll call back later and adds "I love you." My sister only really says that unless something is wrong.

This afternoon I overheard my mother explaining the story to my stepfather. Apparently, because this boyfriend is too effing lazy to get off his own arse and get a job, he wanted my sister to spend part of her hard earned paycheck- which she uses to support two kids and pay all the bills- on cigarettes. She wouldn't buy him any because, obviously, she needed the money for more important things. So the loser up and leaves, as I understand it.

This lazy bum leaves my sister with two kids- one of whom he is the father of, and the other he has been raising as if he were her father- all alone. We always knew her boyfriend was a little lazy. But after he got laid off and was too lazy to even apply for unemployment payments and just sat there, barely looking for a job, we knew just what the extent of it was. And now he's left my sister, a woman who raises two children and pays all the bills on tips, because he wanted cigarettes and couldn't buy them himself.

This guy makes me sick. Absolutely sick. I don't often get angry about things, but I am now.

Well, that's my angry rant. Thanks for listening.

[Carth]

Cigarettes.

CIGARETTES?

Wow...this is a new low. He lazes around and lets her support him for who knows how long, then makes a fuss and leaves her and his own kid(s) all because he couldn't have the pleasure of using her hard-earned money to blacken this lungs? I agree with you. That's sick. If I had the right/proximity/muscle tone, I'd go beat him senseless.Just when I thought people couldn't get any more selfish...

In a way, though, I'm kind of happy for your sister. Now that she's disconnected from someone who obviously doesn't give a darn, she's free to find someone much better to raise a family with. I wish her luck with that. ^___^

[. offline]

maybe he'd be a better person if he found Jesus in his life <.< thats like the all cure, ya know?

[Sciron offline]

Ouch...

Well, at least you guys are rid of him, because it looks like he wasn't much help. I do feel sorry for your sister, because now she doesn't have someone to help her with the kids...but if that's what he's like, it sounds like he wasn't much of a help anyways, so she's really better off without him.

Sorry if that sounds blunt; I don't mean offense. >>

Good luck to your sister and your family.

[SilverPrince offline]

Kay, here's an update.

Firstly, as I overheard about the event instead of actually being told about it, I misheard a certain detail. He didn't leave because he wanted my cigarettes- that might have been my mom just saying she wanted some, and I misheard. He left because my sister got home from work 45 minutes late.

That makes absolutely no sense. At all. I don't get it.

And secondly, he's apparently back at their house. But I don't think their relationship will last much longer anyway. It is for the better, but I worry about the kids who might grow up with no father figure, and how is my sister supposed to explain to her 3 year old daughter that "daddy" went away?

My sister has had a rough life. And now, just as things were looking up, everything crashes back down again. She finally gets her own house and a job she loves- even if she's a waitress- and allegedly finds a man to love and to be a father. But apparently not.

If my sister doesn't find a way to throw this man out, the rest of the family will. I am not a strong man, nor am I an angry person. But I would personally like to walk up to him and kick him right between the legs as hard as possible. Several times.

[. offline]

Kay, here's an update.

Firstly, as I overheard about the event instead of actually being told about it, I misheard a certain detail. He didn't leave because he wanted my cigarettes- that might have been my mom just saying she wanted some, and I misheard. He left because my sister got home from work 45 minutes late.

That makes absolutely no sense. At all. I don't get it.

And secondly, he's apparently back at their house. But I don't think their relationship will last much longer anyway. It is for the better, but I worry about the kids who might grow up with no father figure, and how is my sister supposed to explain to her 3 year old daughter that "daddy" went away?

My sister has had a rough life. And now, just as things were looking up, everything crashes back down again. She finally gets her own house and a job she loves- even if she's a waitress- and allegedly finds a man to love and to be a father. But apparently not.

If my sister doesn't find a way to throw this man out, the rest of the family will. I am not a strong man, nor am I an angry person. But I would personally like to walk up to him and kick him right between the legs as hard as possible. Several times.

Theres an old woody allen quote I like... from the movie Antz...

"Whos the bigger idiot? The idiot or the idiot who gets kidnapped by the idiot?"

[Boss Tamsy offline]

Your plan of action should be:
1. Give your sister a 12-gage(If she doesn't want to do it, have someone else hold it)
2.Have her(or the other person) wait on the front porch(yard, whatever) after he leaves the house for whatever reason.
3. Once he gets back, tell him he has 10 seconds to GTFO or you'll unload on him.

Kinda violent, but if he's as much of an @$$hole as you say, this is propably the one thing that he'll take seriously.

P.S. The gun doesn't have to have live ammunition(in fact, for safety reason, it probably shouldn't). You could use blanks. I mean it won't be real, but I still think it'd scare him into leaving.

[TheLQ offline]

As much as that would be funny, its not really realistic. You get the cops involved and getting charged for attempted murder, public disturbance, assault with a deadly weapon, child endangerment, etc.

A divorce is something that was somewhat hard for me. The only thing that made it less painful was that my parents were fighting all the time, physically fighting. So i understood that my mom wanted him out of the house. I would recommend waiting until her daughter can understand he was a lazy mfer, and isn't the best person for her.

[Gauntlet offline]

Your plan of action should be:
1. Give your sister a 12-gage(If she doesn't want to do it, have someone else hold it)
2.Have her(or the other person) wait on the front porch(yard, whatever) after he leaves the house for whatever reason.
3. Once he gets back, tell him he has 10 seconds to GTFO or you'll unload on him.

Kinda violent, but if he's as much of an @$$hole as you say, this is propably the one thing that he'll take seriously.

P.S. The gun doesn't have to have live ammunition(in fact, for safety reason, it probably shouldn't). You could use blanks. I mean it won't be real, but I still think it'd scare him into leaving.

<s>That's a good idea until you get a stutter and preemptively fire the gun. Either you kill him (and get a fine, jail time, a burdened conscience, and emotionally scar the children), or he realizes they were blanks and he stops being lazy and becomes violent. Or, worse, he turns the gun on you.</s> What a stupid idea. If that's sarcasm, I will gladly relinquish my status as the resident sarcastic wisecrack and bestow it upon you.


Anyways... as for your sister, L422... you might want to convince her to distance herself from him. If possible, perhaps she should stay at your parents' place and consider some legal action if he pursues. In a situation like this, distance and time is a safe route--but without communication between said parties, there's no hope for finding a solution. I am not saying she's running away and ignoring the problem, mind you, but it's up to her whether she believes their relationship is salvageable; if he does not reciprocate her attempts to communicate and mend their relationship, then she is better off not trying at all. She cannot force him to make better choices.

Speaking from experience here. I hope you, your sister, her children, and your family, are well.

[JesusFreak offline]

Your plan of action should be:
1. Give your sister a 12-gage(If she doesn't want to do it, have someone else hold it)
2.Have her(or the other person) wait on the front porch(yard, whatever) after he leaves the house for whatever reason.
3. Once he gets back, tell him he has 10 seconds to GTFO or you'll unload on him.

Kinda violent, but if he's as much of an @$$hole as you say, this is propably the one thing that he'll take seriously.

P.S. The gun doesn't have to have live ammunition(in fact, for safety reason, it probably shouldn't). You could use blanks. I mean it won't be real, but I still think it'd scare him into leaving.

<s>That's a good idea until you get a stutter and preemptively fire the gun. Either you kill him (and get a fine, jail time, a burdened conscience, and emotionally scar the children), or he realizes they were blanks and he stops being lazy and becomes violent. Or, worse, he turns the gun on you.</s> What a stupid idea. If that's sarcasm, I will gladly relinquish my status as the resident sarcastic wisecrack and bestow it upon you.


Anyways... as for your sister, L422... you might want to convince her to distance herself from him. If possible, perhaps she should stay at your parents' place and consider some legal action if he pursues. In a situation like this, distance and time is a safe route--but without communication between said parties, there's no hope for finding a solution. I am not saying she's running away and ignoring the problem, mind you, but it's up to her whether she believes their relationship is salvageable; if he does not reciprocate her attempts to communicate and mend their relationship, then she is better off not trying at all. She cannot force him to make better choices.

Speaking from experience here. I hope you, your sister, her children, and your family, are well.

Dude....I think Tamsy was joking...


Otherwise 422, give your sis Gauntlet's advice, Additionally, I'm praying for you.

[Boss Tamsy offline]

Dude....I think Tamsy was joking...

At least somebody could tell. I wasn't actually suggesting that.
Real plan of action:
1.Find some safe far-off place
2. Go there
3.Stay there
4.And with the exception of her parents, nobody else is to be told where she really is.(under ANY circumstance)
And incidentally, from what I've heard, this guy is crap, and therego, any relationship with him should be severed!

[TheLQ offline]

Actually, i just thought of this. If the house she lives in is hers, she can get the cops on him for trespassing or stalking.

[SilverPrince offline]

Well, my sister probably makes the payments, but they share the house. I haven't been updated on the topic much- it's a thing I'd imagine my parents not like me asking about- but as far as I understand, they're still living together and the relationship is still going. I would imagine for the kids' sakes.

[TheAppleFreak]

Dude, if that ever happens again, tell her to file a divorce. Let that b**** starve because he can't go out and find a job.