Love. Oh how it fills my heart with dread.

[Demonkiller offline]

DON'T be yourself. Be what the "in" crowd wants you to be, then meet someone who has a lot of the same interests as you, but not so many that you'll never be more than best friends of opposite genders, and be like, "Oh yeah! I love that (tv show, video game, illegal substance,) you do too!? Awesome!"

What do you mean "DON'T be yourself?" If people don't like you for who you are, then it sucks to be them. They don't have to like you, and you don't have to care if they don't!

Yourself is always cool, and believe me, I know cool . (Carlito fan.)

[. offline]

DON'T be yourself. Be what the "in" crowd wants you to be, then meet someone who has a lot of the same interests as you, but not so many that you'll never be more than best friends of opposite genders, and be like, "Oh yeah! I love that (tv show, video game, illegal substance,) you do too!? Awesome!"

What do you mean "DON'T be yourself?" If people don't like you for who you are, then it sucks to be them. They don't have to like you, and you don't have to care if they don't!

Yourself is always cool, and believe me, I know cool . (Carlito fan.)

So KingCheez is not being cool then? *Bites into apple*

[The BB of C offline]

DON'T be yourself. Be what the "in" crowd wants you to be, then meet someone who has a lot of the same interests as you, but not so many that you'll never be more than best friends of opposite genders, and be like, "Oh yeah! I love that (tv show, video game, illegal substance,) you do too!? Awesome!"

What do you mean "DON'T be yourself?" If people don't like you for who you are, then it sucks to be them. They don't have to like you, and you don't have to care if they don't!

Yourself is always cool, and believe me, I know cool . (Carlito fan.)

Sometimes being yourself will only make things worse. I know that everyone wants this to be a world out of "Barney" or "Lizzie McGuire" where everyone gets along and we can all be ourselves and accept everyone, but we can't. The cold hard truth (and I hate it as much as the rest of you do) is that we do have to find what is normal, and we do have to be normal, and we do have to try to fit in with the popular crowd or we'll be misurable our whole lives.

[Mewberries151]

DON'T be yourself. Be what the "in" crowd wants you to be, then meet someone who has a lot of the same interests as you, but not so many that you'll never be more than best friends of opposite genders, and be like, "Oh yeah! I love that (tv show, video game, illegal substance,) you do too!? Awesome!"

What do you mean "DON'T be yourself?" If people don't like you for who you are, then it sucks to be them. They don't have to like you, and you don't have to care if they don't!

Yourself is always cool, and believe me, I know cool . (Carlito fan.)

Sometimes being yourself will only make things worse. I know that everyone wants this to be a world out of "Barney" or "Lizzie McGuire" where everyone gets along and we can all be ourselves and accept everyone, but we can't. The cold hard truth (and I hate it as much as the rest of you do) is that we do have to find what is normal, and we do have to be normal, and we do have to try to fit in with the popular crowd or we'll be misurable our whole lives.

I disagree. Witha mindset like that, a world where everyone accepts eachother for who they are will never be possible because they're to afraid to try. If that were completely true, important historical events like the Women's Civil Rights and the African-American Civil rights movement, or any other kind of movement that meant big political or social change would never have happened.

I have never once tried to fit in with the popular crowd and I certainly don't consider myself miserable or unhappy. I have friends who appreciate me for who I am...and businesses look for people who think outside of the box, who look past the norm to find the next big "hit" or new "hook".

Normal is boring most of the time. Normal is also usually out of date, or far too conservative. Now I'm not saying act so far out of social parameters that people begin to consider taking you to the nuthouse. ^^ But you do not have to conform to what everyone else considers popular, ever.

Everyone might not agree with you...but you'll find others who do...and they'll stick by you much better than anyone in the "popular" crowd. That's a fact...because they'll like you for who you are, not for what you're pretending to be. In fact, pretending to be something you're not will make you far more unhappy...because you'll continually be stressed at keeping up a mask, a false personality. Be yourself, and like yourself for who you are inside and out. Other people will learn to respect that. Don't be afraid to be who you are.

[The BB of C offline]

Of course, by no means pretend to be someone you're not. There's a difference between wrong crowd and popular crowd. They can be almost impossible to identify, however. The wrong crowd could have a ton of people in it. In this case, it is best to find the crowd that's better for you, though it may be smaller. If you get involved with a group that causes you to act like someone you're not at all, then that (in your case, it could be different for someone else) is the wrong crowd.
The point of this being, change some things about yourself (an explanation too long for this post) and then find what's best for you.
Mew, gosh dang, did you get lucky or what? Dang! You ended up in the perfect crowd for you.

[Mewberries151]

Of course, by no means pretend to be someone you're not. There's a difference between wrong crowd and popular crowd. They can be almost impossible to identify, however. The wrong crowd could have a ton of people in it. In this case, it is best to find the crowd that's better for you, though it may be smaller. If you get involved with a group that causes you to act like someone you're not at all, then that (in your case, it could be different for someone else) is the wrong crowd.
The point of this being, change some things about yourself (an explanation too long for this post) and then find what's best for you.

One shouldn't ever have to change anything about themself though for the sake of making a friend, unless it's a harmful kind of behavior like "over-aggressive-ness", or violent tendencies or arrogance among others. Those kinds of personality traits, I would say, should be changed since they're harmful to others as well as to oneself and usually tend to get worse overtime. I don't quite know what you mean by "some things" in this case then, since you didn't list them or explain them further, but I would say that unless it is some kind of harmful or detrimental behavior or trait, that there's no reason to change things about yourself that make you unique.

"Give and Take" in a friendship is fine though (for example, toning down hyperness if a friend has a serious headache or is just in no mood to put up with your energy levels is a good time when personality traits should be...squelched, temporarily, out of concern and care for one's friend), but again, since I don't quite understand what you mean by "some things", I can't really say anything towards it...since by "some things" you may have meant the things I just mentioned above. ^^;

As to your comment towards me in particular though, I found a group of friends that care about me and like me for who I am. I'm not sure if that's what you'd call perfect (we disagree on quite a bunch of things), but we all respect each other's differences. That's the kind of crowd, I'm talking about that one should seek out. You don't have to be precisely the same as one another...that would be boring. ^^ But friends should at least like you for who you are...even if you drive them nuts from time to time. *sweatdrop*

[The BB of C offline]

Like I said, you got lucky. You won't find any amount of people like that within at least 200 miles of my house. I don't think we dissagree, I think you don't understand what I'm saying because I say things so much differently than you. I think if we knew each other personally, meanings of what we say to each other wouldn't get lost in the translation (of the ways we put things) and everything would be cool.
Anyway, if you're lucky like Mew over there, and you've got a group in your school that just accepts everyone, find it, and get in that. But we're still off topic even with that. After you find that group, of that group doesn't exist in your district, go with my advice, then you'll have conquered one of the hardest steps. Briefly after you do that, you'll find the people you really like, and are not just getting these hormonally-enduced crushes.

[KayLenny#7 offline]

I couldn't change myself if I wanted to. But what really gets me is that I get treated like trash by people who are just like me! It's like, "You like Suite Life of Zack and Cody?! What a lozer!" and then in their myspace, "OMG, I love Suite Life of Zack and Cody cuz I'm cool like that!"

WTF?

So who I am looks better on other people, huh?

[The BB of C offline]

I don't understand what you were getting to at all there. You'd be surprised, its easy to change the things about you that need to be changed. The trick is to find what needs to be altered.

[KayLenny#7 offline]

I don't understand what you were getting to at all there. You'd be surprised, its easy to change the things about you that need to be changed. The trick is to find what needs to be altered.

How do I do that. All that bothers people is what I like and that I'm annoying. But if I drop all of that, I lose what small bit of happiness I have. Now what good would that do me?

[The BB of C offline]

I know how that feels, there isn't much that stinks worse than that feeling. But it passes. I wish I could help more here, because I can, I have before. I know that for a fact, and so do they. But I don't really know you. It would be extreamly difficult for me to gather enough about you and what your ups and downs are to say what exactly needs to be done.
Rememeber, I used to be just like you. I figured out how to solve it, and I did solve it. Trust me when I say these things. You can do it too. I may not know you, but I already see incredible potential in overcoming this in you.
In the words of Henry Rollins from "Def Jam: Fight For New York": "Go forth and kick [it]!"

[Osiris offline]

i think you are a very normal person numbah 7

i also think that the best idea is to find people who like you for who you are they are true friends

[. offline]

I'd really like to know who this infamous "Popular" Kliq is. lol

Maybe it's just me or just my school or whatever but its seems terribly non-existant where I am.

My Advice- Just keeping going. You can't ever give up, because giving up and just lying in bed or crying about isn't gonna get you any closer to what you want. You gotta keep hitting the grind stone tooth and nail until ya hit gold.

And most importantly have fun. I can gurrantee you that you probbly won't find true love in highschool, so just live for the moment and do whats fun for you.

[Mewberries151]

Like I said, you got lucky. You won't find any amount of people like that within at least 200 miles of my house. I don't think we dissagree, I think you don't understand what I'm saying because I say things so much differently than you. I think if we knew each other personally, meanings of what we say to each other wouldn't get lost in the translation (of the ways we put things) and everything would be cool.

You make it sound like that group just found me or something. I actively searched for a group of friends that shared similar interests that I did. You make it sound like they were handed to me on a silver platter, which is not the case. I'm not saying that good friends are easy to find. They're not...and you may not find them right away. But giving up and letting yourself become stressed out with people who honestly aren't anything like you or really care about you will insure that you never find them.

And, yes I agree some things can get lost in translation. I admitted I was not sure of what you meant by "changing some things" in your other post. If they're not the things I mentioned though, then I'd say I still disagree with you. I don't see how I have to agree with what you're saying for everything to be "cool". I have my opinion and you have yours and that's that.

Anyway, if you're lucky like Mew over there, and you've got a group in your school that just accepts everyone, find it, and get in that. But we're still off topic even with that. After you find that group, of that group doesn't exist in your district, go with my advice, then you'll have conquered one of the hardest steps. Briefly after you do that, you'll find the people you really like, and are not just getting these hormonally-enduced crushes.

That sounds awfully like condescension directed towards me...but then again, I may be misinterpreting you since I can't actually hear the tone you meant it in. Either way, it doesn't matter. I am not trying to brag about my lifestyle. I only used my own personal experiences as an example to show that you can actually find friends that like you for who you are and respect your uniqueness (even if they don't entirely agree with ot themselves).

You're also misquoting me. I said my friends respect who I am. I didn't say I belong to a group of people who just accept everyone because sadly nothing like that quite exists, as of yet (although wouldn't it be wonderful if there was such a group of people). I wouldn't even call it a "group". But this is going off-topic...

What I'm advising is to find friends that you don't have to pretend around. That you can confidently be who you are around, without the fear that they'll mock you or hurt you because of it. That's what I'm advising. If you find you have to change something about yourself (unless it's one of those detrimental personality traits I mentioned in an earlier posts), chances are you're not in the right crowd. True friends don't ask you to be someone else. They like you for who you are.

I couldn't change myself if I wanted to. But what really gets me is that I get treated like trash by people who are just like me! It's like, "You like Suite Life of Zack and Cody?! What a lozer!" and then in their myspace, "OMG, I love Suite Life of Zack and Cody cuz I'm cool like that!"

WTF?

So who I am looks better on other people, huh?

Those kinds of people are likely insecure with what they like...or are trying to pretend that they like something just to look cool with someone else. If people like that trash you for something you know that they like too, mention it to them. If it's written in such a public place like MySpace, chances are you aren't the only one who knows about it.

Even more so, if they're trashing you like that, I'd recommend just tuning them out. Chances are they're only making fun of you to make themselves feel important or justified as is the case with alot of bullies in particular. I'd also recommend involving a trusted adult or teacher if the teasing is becoming too much. There is no shame in going to an adult for help either.

[Demonkiller offline]

Mewberries, you are the freakin'… uh, whatever you are.

Like I said, I know cool. And to ThePepsiPiper, yes, Kingcheese isn't cool. (I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool. Like I said, Carlito fan.) Never try to win over people who don't like you for who you are, 'cause they aren't your friends. Besides, there is always someone in the world for another, a certain group of people who would love to be your friends. Don't go with the "in" crowd, because when people are there, usually there not them self's.

I'm pretty much repeating myself now. By the way ThePepsiPiper, I find the picture in your signature offensive, and don't ask me why, because I'll go into this long discussion about why I find it offensive. LONG is the keyword there.

[Mewberries151]

Mewberries, you are the freakin'… uh, whatever you are.

Like I said, I know cool. And to ThePepsiPiper, yes, Kingcheese isn't cool. (I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool. Like I said, Carlito fan.) Never try to win over people who don't like you for who you are, 'cause they aren't your friends. Besides, there is always someone in the world for another, a certain group of people who would love to be your friends. Don't go with the "in" crowd, because when people are there, usually there not them self's.

X) Heh...thanks!

I agree with what you said, especially about the fact that there is a group of people out there who would love to be friends with you; that is so true. ^_^ All one has to do is search for them. They're there. They're definitely there.

I'm pretty much repeating myself now. By the way ThePepsiPiper, I find the picture in your signature offensive, and don't ask me why, because I'll go into this long discussion about why I find it offensive. LONG is the keyword there.

Well...there is a rule against sigs that stretch out the forum pages. I'm not the best Mod for that though since my one computer screen is really small to begin with, and even some small signatures stretch out the pages on my screen. *sweatdrop* If it's too big for everyone else though, it should probably be scaled down. ^^;

[. offline]

Bah it's probbly the Satan quote right? >.< ah I knew I was gonna piss someone off with that but it was such a cool quote. Prehaps i'll change it later, depends how much time I have on my hands.

[TB3]

(reads through thread)

I'm gonna come down on the side of Mewberries here - friends aren't something you should have to transform yourself to find - me and university are a prime example.

Up to this point in life I hve been considered an eccentric - my interests and hobbies too weird for other people's tastes (anime, steam engines, writing etc.) - I came to university though and I discovered an equal range of diverse people.

Now sometimes, friends find you by chance - I was down in the bar one evening and happened to be wearing a railway-themed-T-Shirt - a guy approaches me and asks if I'm a fan. I reply yes, and since then we've ben the best of friends.

In other cases I hunted down a group of people like me - the univerity anime and writers clubs, and I've bonded well with those guys - it's always a pleasure to go to the meetings, not just because of our shared hobby, but because of the people in the group, who I love!

And then you meet people through work, bumping into them on the street, shared coursework assignments etc. I've also made friends with some of the guys in my flat.

The basic lesson is, I thought I would NEVER have any friends, but here I am with loads of people who share my interests and who like me for who I am - I'm sure if an obese 19-year-old nerd can pull that off, then you can too Numbah 7.

Best of luck kid!

[KayLenny#7 offline]

What's dis? D: My topic died so soon?!

[The BB of C offline]

Especially with someone of your looks. I don't understand this in the least bit how someone with your looks could have this much trouble.

[Jeremified offline]

Yourself is always cool, ...

ROCK ON!
Cool is undefined. Cool can only be defined by one person, and only for that one person. Cool isn't about fashion or anything else like that; it's only what you like as yourself. Being yourself... is cool!

[KayLenny#7 offline]

The BB of C: Well. I don't think I'm too ugly, there are just too many other girls who are prettier. I'm kinda like the leftover or something...

Jeremefied: You are so right.

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

I have seen the pic at SYF, and you're not ulgy! You've very pretty.

And I have the same problem. Crud, I can't even walk a curvy line withiut drooling over some hot guy! Well, I can't walk a curvy line anyways, but that's beside the point.

What I guess you do is try to be just friends with them, and gain their trust. Then mabey, if you work at it, they'll like you too.

(I'm trying this theory out, and it seems to be working. but watch out, it's still in testing mode.)

But today my crushes didn't yell at me, one actually helped!
*Squeals*

[KayLenny#7 offline]

Gah! Screw this! Making friends with guys doesn't work, flirting with guys doesn't work, and nothing else ever works! They all think I'm freaking worthless! Forget this! Why do I even bother?!

*rips out hair*

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

*Glues hair back on*

Yeah, you're right. What was I thinking?
Guys are stubborn. Faget them
KIE: You're one to talk... you still have a crush since 1st grade!