Corrupt A Wish Game! Version Two!

[Stonecreek]

Granted, but Justin Beiber comes and beats you up out of jealousy.

I wish for a career, instead of a job.

[ArgentDandelion offline]

You get a career working for Code Lyoko's production company, and, like Dwayne McDuffie of the Ben 10 fandom, relate to the fans and answer their questions. The bad side? Fangirls/boys/fan persons-of-indeterminable-gender all buy houses and even make tents and treehouses in your neighborhood, causing immense traffic.

I wish I could sit on a comfortable chair.

[Stonecreek]

Granted, but it has Krazy Glue on it and you're stuck to it forever.

I wish for some enchiladas...

[MY85 offline]

Granted, but it's extremely spicy.

I wish for a peaceful night.

[ArgentDandelion offline]

You have a night so peaceful you never wake up. (because you slept in way too much)
I wish I could remove the Krazy Glue that prevents me from ever removing myself from the comfortable chair.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but then the chair sprouts chains and locks you in. It likes you.

I wish for a DVD player.

[Stonecreek]

Granted, but it can only play hetero porn.

I wish I had perfect eyesight...

[Carth]

Granted! You can now see into the future. Uh, enjoy that.

I wish I could think of what to watch right now.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but it can only play hetero porn.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Granted, but then the Sun goes out.

I wish CARTH HADN'T POSTED BEFORE I DID.

[ArgentDandelion offline]

Your eyesight is now perfect. However, having lost your glasses (if you possessed them) you lose your attractive appeal, or they simply make your eyes so tiny no person finds you good-looking or even pleasant to gaze at.

I wish I could take my chair to therapy and gradually make it less dependent on me, so I can leave it sometimes (such as when going to the bathroom) without it sprouting chains on me.

[MY85 offline]

Granted, and it actually allows you to leave the chair sometimes, but only for a limited amount of time. The rest of the time (like 90% of your daily life), it works as an electric chair too.

I wish I had seafood for lunch tomorrow.

[ArgentDandelion offline]

Granted; you do, but spontaneously develop allergies to the seafood or realize it was full of fascinating parasites.
I wish my chair could not be so harsh to me, and would stop hurting me.

[MY85 offline]

Granted, but the chair is now obsessed with making love to you 24/7.

I wish I was a billionaire so f*cking bad.

[green offline]

Granted, but you suffocate under your piles and piles of money

I wish for a salad

[Carth]

You get a salad drowned in dressing. Enjoy your obesity

I wish for love.

[ArgentDandelion offline]

Granted, you receive love, in the form of a giant missile with the letters "L-O-V-E" painted on it.
I wish my chair could just be normal, (but not boring) and stop making me aforementioned missiles 24/7.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but the only way for the chair to be normal is for it not to exist. Thus, your chair vanishes.

I wish for the Packers win Super Bowl XLV.

[Stonecreek]

GRANTED, GRANTED, GRANTED!!!

Then you get hit by a bus and die. Sorry,

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow so I can watch the Super Bowl uninturrupted.

[ArgentDandelion offline]

They do. Football takes over the world and the brains of every television-watching male have gone kaput from the intelligence-lowering effects of watching football. Poor males. (in case you are wondering, female football fans' brains go kaput as well.)

I wish I could not have something bad happen to me in my wish, or spontaneously (or gradually) disappear from existence, such as but not limited to due to the events of a time, time and space, or simply space paradox.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted. Nothing bad happens for that wish. You thus get... nothing.

I wish for a pet turtle. A really cute, nice turtle that never does anything bad and lives for like 100 years and never gets hurt.

[MY85 offline]

Granted, but you die 1 week after getting your turtle.

I wish I had a gun that I can shoot bullets on any part of my body and it won't hurt me at all.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but the gun jams and no one in the world knows how to fix it.

I wish for the power to control time.

[green offline]

Granted, but you get stuck in the past and end up in one of those you are your own grandfather situations

I wish for a second wish

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but you can only use the second wish to wish for brussels sprouts.

I wish I could draw extraordinarily well.

[TheAppleFreak]

Granted, but every time you finish your work bursts into flames so no one is able to see it.

I wish that I could actually play TF2 well on a competitive level.