Corrupt A Wish Game! Version Two!

[Asantewaalrus offline]

I'd totally grant that, but I have an ego to keep up.

I wish for divorce papers--IT'S EITHER ME OR HER.

AND IT BETTER BE ME. D:<

[SilverPrince offline]

Carth's already taken, so if you can't be with the one you <s>love</s> like, like the one you're with. I choose you, Asa darling.

I wish for half of everything you own and custody of the kids. >.>

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Granted. You get custody of every child I've ever <s>fathered</s>, all sixty-three of them... and only five bucks in child-support a month. ... And half of half of half of half of everything I own. : DD

I WISH FOR THE HAPPINESS THAT OUR MARRIAGE WAS FIVE MINUTES AGO. D ;

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but you have to take all the kids back.

I wish for an all-expenses-paid vacation to somewhere in the Caribbean.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Granted, but the kids have to come too.

I wish I didn't have the incredible urge to watch the Brady Bunch right now. D:<

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but now you want to watch Golden Girls.

I wish I was fluent in the language Romansh. Er, that is, without forgetting English.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Granted, but as of now, no one else speaks the language.

I wish I could use Steve Terada as a pillow.

[TheAppleFreak]

Granted. He will show up at your house in 15 minutes with a trillion other people to throw a house party.

I wish for world peace on Earth.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Granted, you get to come to my house party instead... with everyone else on Earth.

I wish for said house party to be over.

[TheAppleFreak]

Granted, now your house party is over. So is your life.

I wish for something that can only benefit me.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a five dollar discount on your next purchase at Wal-Mart.

I wish for a sandwich... that's on thick, toasted bread, dipped in some sort of awesome sauce, has cheese melted over some really tasty meat, a crap load of ssauteed vegetables, and a milkshake. D;

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted. But you have to make it.

<s>I put in</s> I wish for true love.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Granted~

-flails arms around like a maniac-

I wish for someone to make that sandwich I wanted earlier. D:<

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted. The rotting, zombie corpse of Millard Fillmore, 13th President of the United States, will happily prepare your sandwich. Which you will have to eat. Maggots and all. Because he's the mother effing President. Or at least he was.

I wish for a space ship that can travel faster than the speed of light.

[TheAppleFreak]

Granted. Now, the space-time continuum is undone because of you.

I wish Franz Hopper to fix the space-time continuum.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted, but he's getting rather tired of doing this. So he peers over his glasses at you just enough to burn all your hair off, including your eyebrows.

I wish I was a real boy.

[Carth]

Granted! You will now be ten years old for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a crab! ...with TWO heads!

[SilverPrince offline]

Carth, you may have possibly made my day. Just for that, I grant your wish just as you wished it. You are now a crab with two heads. Forever.

I wish I knew all about Catch-22 without reading it.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Oh, sorry can't grant those type of wishes. D ;
Er... here... have a sammich. : DD

I wish I had the urge to go running.

[Carth]

Granted! You are now running...forever...and ever...and ever...

I wish I could make Lyoko422 happy somehow so he'd take pity on me and turn me back into a human.

[TheAppleFreak]

Wish not granted; he likes you enough as a two-headed crab that he'll keep you that way.

I wish for dsdt.aml to be effectively modded so I don't have to go through the process of modding thousands of kexts in order to find out which one is the correct one to get my system working as a vanilla 132 boot on a 9. Or, I wish for someone to understand what I just said.

[SilverPrince offline]

...

Have a cookie.

I wish I were svelte.

[Carth]

Granted! You're scrawny.

I wish I could really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

... Not granted, 'cause Fairy!Asa was totally confused on that wish. Come again?

I wish for, like, y'know, knowin'.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted. Here is a copy of the Nicholas Cage movie Knowing, translated into the Southern dialect of American English.

I wish for over 9,000 packets of awesomesauce.